Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


INSECT EPISODE 6


........AT THE STREAM........
(WRITER TALKING):" There were three different insect which became friends when they met,one was a child of a Caddisfly insect the second was of another insect called dobsonfly and the third was of a mayfly".
..... THIS IS HOW THE THREE OF THEM CAME TO THE STEAM......
(WRITER TALKING):"Caddisfly an insect which resembles a small moth,it has wings with small hairs, distinguishing them from the scaled wings typical of moths. The adults are 1.5 to 2.5 cm (0.6 to 1 in) long. Most have a habit of nocturnal flight and are found near fresh water......a few are marine......the mother Caddisfly was pregnant,but it wasn't her first time giving birth, so she knew what to do,she went straight to a water plant to lay her eggs.....eggs are deposited in green, gelatinous masses.....,after she laid her eggs she left".
(WRITER TALKING):" After some weeks the eggs hatched....larvae stage its called caseworm, or cadbait which are aquatic..... The caseworm was elongate with a small, hard head and a soft thorax and abdomen. The larva was alone and it had to protect itself against predators ,it found a tubular silk case covered with sand grains,the caseworm swum into it and began to leave there" .
........BESIDE THE SAME STREAM........
(WRITER TALKING):" A female dobsonfly came out of her hiding place because she wanted to give birth,her colour was brownish-green and she was about 7.6 cm (about 3 in) long with a wingspread of nearly 13 cm (nearly 5 in),as she move she saw a male Dobsonfly with a slender mandibles that can be up to 2.5 cm (1 in) long.he wanted to mate with her,but as he approached her,he saw that she wasn't in her heat season and that she was about to give birth,so he left her in search of another female".
(WRITER TALKING):"she found a very nice spot close to the stream,which was on a rock overhanging the stream. she laid her eggs there and left.after some weeks the eggs hatched and the larvae dropped into the stream.it became a fierce predator in the stream, feeding on small aquatic animals.it killed small aquatic animals in numbers.each time small aquatic animal sees it, they run away from it.it was in the water for up to three years,even more longer than the Caddisfly and mayfly,so it was far older than both of them,and its length was 5 cm (2 in).
......at the other side of the stream.....
(WRITER TALKING):"a male mayfly was flying about looking for a female to mate with,suddenly his eyes caught the most amazing thing it has ever seen,a very beautiful female mayfly.he flu close to her and did the usual thing that male mayflies do to attract female mayflies,she was totally attracted by what he did".
(WRITER TALKING):" they were not the only ones that were about to mate that day, swarms of mayflies mate over the stream including them both. After mating, the male died and the female lived a few more hours, depositing the eggs in the steam before she died".
(WRITER TALKING):"week later the egg hatched and the mayfly larvae emerged out and it had a breathing means of gills,it fed on microscopic plant life which were on stones at the bottom of the stream,it was a week younger than the dobsonfly larvae,but old than the caseworm".
(WRITER TALKING):"that was how the beginning of their story began,now let me tell you how they came together".
(WRITER TALKING):" The caseworm was swimming gently and cool in the stream, searching for food to eat,as the caseworm swum, it moved its head like that of a snake,it saw at a corner, a small aquatic animal,the small aquatic animal hid itself in nets spun from secreted silk and anchored in the stream,the caseworm was a quick and fast swimmer,it caught the small aquatic animal in seconds and fed on it.after feeding, it went back to it's home to take a nap. few minutes later it got home but to it's surprise,it saw something feeding on microscopic plant at the bottom of the stream where it's home was,it swum down to know what creature came to its place".
caseworm:"yo you,what are you doing here",it asked.
(WRITER TALKING):"the mayfly larvae stopped what it was doing and turned to see what called it's attention.when the caseworm saw the full face and size of the mayfly larvae,it was totally afraid so it changed the topic".
mayfly larvae:" hello".it said.
caseworm :"yo what are you",it asked.
mayfly larvae:"I am a mayfly larvae and you?",it asked.
caseworm:"well I am a caseworm",it replied.
mayfly larvae:"ok cool",it said.
caseworm:"you look so big and scary",it said.
mayfly larvae:"well that is how my kinds are",it said.
caseworm:"ok",it said.
mayfly larvae:"ok ",it said.
mayfly larvae:"so where are you off to?",it asked.
caseworm:"well I am going into my home to rest",it replied.
mayfly larvae:"oh I see,ok then",it said.
caseworm:"ok bye for now",it said.
Mayfly larvae:"bye",it said................. to be continued......story by dindy.....whatsapp number:07087750433.... [email protected]@gmail.com or [email protected] facebook namessy nnamdi
please do not share without talking to me personally and asking for permission...thank you for reading this story


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Akpos dies and goes to
heaven. When he gets
there, St. Peter is
standing at the gate. He
says, "If you can
answer these three
questions I will let you
in to heaven. First, how
many seconds are in a
year? Second, how
many days of the week
have a 'T' in them?
Third, what is God's
first name? You have
until tomorrow to
answer these
questions." Akpos
comes back the next
day, St. Peter asks the
first question and
Akpos says, "Twelve."
"Twelve?" says St.
Peter, "how did you get
that?" Akpos replied,
"January 2nd, February
2nd and so on." Peter
thinks it over and says,
"Well that is not exactly
what I meant, but it's
technically correct, so I
will give you credit."
Then St. Peter asks the
second question and
Akpos answers, "Two."
St. Peter asks how he
got that answer and
Akpos explains, "Today
and Tomorrow." St.
Peter again admits that
wasn't what he had in
mind, but he'll accept
that. Peter then asked
the third question --
God's first name. Akpos
says, "Hallowed.” St.
Peter, really perplexed,
inquires how he got
that and Akpos says,
"You know -- it's in the
prayer: ‘Our Father who
art in heaven, Hallowed
be thy name.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-26 07:56:05

698 Views



MURCIDE [Read it]


The sound of rushing shower in the bath woke Michelle. She had a wonderful night rest. The first thing she remembered was having great sex and waking up naked in bed reminded her of it. Her husband was fantastic, he really made her feel like she was above the world, she didn't know what cloud he took her but it was definitely higher than cloud nine.
She clumsily dragged herself out of the bed and walked towards the toilet just then the bathroom door opened.
"Whaaat!!!" She screamed upon seeing Henry, her husband's junior brother.
"What are you doing here? how did you get here?" She quesioned in anger.
"Chill baby, don't you remember?" Henry said not even looking bothered.
"Remember what?" She requested as Henry walked out and headed towards the bed.
Michelle couldn't farthom what was going on. She silently prayed that things don't turn out the way her mind was thinking it was.
"Henry please tell me what happened?" She asked, more solem now.
Henry looked at her in amazement. "I don't believe you!" He nodded. You mean you don't remember coming home drunk last night and forcing me to sleep with you".
Shock waves flew through Michelle's body as Henry confessed.
She began to recall how she has left for the club on her way from work with some of her friends. How they drank in celebration of Hannah who just bought a brand new car. "But I wasn't drunk?" She said to herself not knowing she was speaking loudly enough to the hearing of Henry who laughed.
"You were stinkingly drunk baby"
"Shut up! How dare you call me baby?" She barked at him.
"O come on? Tell me you didn't enjoy it? Come on! Tell me" he teased her then tried to touch her breast. Michelle beat his hands away and realized she was still standing naked in front of him. She quickly grabbed her blanket and used it to cover her body. Henry laughed mystically.
"Why cover it? I have already seen it. In fact, I even took pictures of you naked while you slept" he said, laughing the more.
Michelle gave him a resounding slap.
Henry wasn't moved by any of Michelle's reactions. He was exceedingly happy at everything.
He stood up from the bed and moved closer to Michelle. He placed his hands on her waist, she fought back. Beat him on his chest but its effect was like throwing baked beans on the wall.
"What's wrong with you? What are you trying to do?" Said Michelle
"Oh, baby, stop being childish, you already gave it to me without asking, now am asking" Henry said to blackmail her.
He continued moving closer and closer even with her tussle, he pulled the blanket from her, stood behind her and grabbed her breast from behind.
Michelle finally gave up struggling with him as he continued smooching her breast.
Henry was joyed when she struggled no more with him.
He had always fantasized about having sex with his brother's beautiful wife and on a lucky day he got free access to it and as a sharp player that he was, he didn't miss the opportunity to take the shot.
He called his brother that he would be returning from school the previous day. His brother picked him up at the park but got a call while on the way that he would need to travel to Yobe immediately.
He dropped him at home and left for the office immediately so as to meet up with the rest of the team that they were to embark on the journey together.
He tried Michelle's number countless times to inform her about the update but at first she wasn't answering then after a long whole. The phone was dead. He was wasn't worried as when he called Henry at about 11:39pm, he confirmed that his wife was at home and sleeping but little did he know that henry was already on his wife and she was pleading for more.

Tears began to stream out of Michelle's eyes, she had cheated on a man who has proven to be faithful to her. She felt like a whore and hated herself. What kind of grieveous mistake is this? She questioned herself. She looked at Henry with disgust. He didn't looked bothered, he was definitely happy that he got a taste of her. Just then the door of the bedroom opened and Collins was standing there with tears and anger in his eyes.
Fear gripped both Michelle and Henry who immediately retreated from fondling with Michelle's breast. They looked at his face and it was obvious he must have being listening and overheard everything. His eyes were spaklingy red.
Collins felt anger and betrayal simultaneously. He had loved Michelle with everything he had and now he has overheard from the door. He couldn't believe Michelle could become careless to the extent of getting drunk and his younger brother becoming so devilish; took advantage of his sister-in-law's drunk state to satisfy his lustful desire at his absence. His trip was cancelled midway because the clients at Yobe decided to finalize the deal over a conference call instead of them travelling all the way up to North-Eastern part of the country.
He walked quietly to the wardrobe and began searching for something. Both Michelle and Henry looked on quietly. They couldn't not predict what he was going to do.
Before they could say "UP NEPA" The next thing they saw was Collins pointing a gun at them both.
"Holy shit" Henry muttered
"Don't you move! Or else you die too quick" Collins barked "well, you are going to die anyway because I am surely going to kill you both then kill myself" He spoke with authority.

Bang!
Bang!!
Bang!!!

Neighbours around heard the sound of gunshots, they called the police who answered and arrived there promptly. They searched the large 3 bedroom bungalow. What a horrific sight that greeted their eyes when they got to the master bedroom. Splashed blood on the wall and bed. Three lifeless body with bullet wounds in a pool of blood. The gun in the arms of Collins, it was clear he had shot the other two and then shot himself. But what could have pushed a man to shoot himself, his wife and his brother? Was the question that ran through their mind.
"He must have caught them sleeping with each other" they guessed.

But its that the next step to be taken in such situation


.

Let's know your thoughts about this story and what you would do if you were in Collins shoes.

Drop your comments at: www.dahmie.wordpress.com


WhatsApp to join my story group: +2347088259350









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Hrithik Roshn: Aye mere dil tu gaaaye ja.

Tusshar Kapoor: A I A I O I A AA.Related

At dinner, Akpos offered to lead in prayer.

"Dear Lord," he started, "Forgive our neighbor's son, who removed my
sisters clothes and wrestled with her on her bed and made her cry."

"This coming winter," he continued, ignorant of all the stares he was
receiving,"Please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my
dad's blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom's
room when daddy is at work"
...AMEN!.... and there was silence.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-31 22:31:44

312 Views



Hilarious Photo [Read it]


So Two Heads Are Not Always Better Than One







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-19 23:58:41

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To have a loving relationship with a sister is not simply to have a buddy or a confident; it is to have a soul mate for life.

~ Victoria SecundaRelated

ONE WRONG TURN
Episode 24

The car previously packed behind
us overtook, and sped off. Ruth
and Hannah waved me from the
back seat as they drove out of
site.
Where they were headed, i had no
idea. I didn’t know were i was
going either, but i was so
convinced i would have fun. The
engines started and we drove off.
“You must be starved, should we
get something to eat?” Ehis asked,
as he slowed down to take a left
turn into a street leading to
sizzlers.
I nodded in agreement.
We drove a little further, and Ehis
pulled up in front of sizzlers.
“wait here let me get us
something to eat.”
He alighted and walked towards
sizzlers. I slumped into the seat,
and started playing with my
phone.
I pinged Ruth and Hannah to find
out were there where headed. The
replies came in fast.
Just like me, both of them had no
idea were they were going. They
just wanted to have fun, that is
what everything was about.
I easily excused myself, thinking
that i was somehow different from
them. I was here because i ‘loved’
Ehis. Well at least i felt strongly
for him and wanted to make him
happy.
I spotted him coming out of the
restaurant with with two white
customized paper bags in his
hands. He was walking as fast as
his legs could carry.
“G2g, later” i hurriedly texted
Hannah.
“kk, make sure you use protection
o, i no wan hear story later.” She
replied almost immediately
I smiled to myself an tucked away
the phone, as Ehis joined me in
the car. He started the engine, and
our journey continued.
We entered a surrounding that
seemed familiar to me, then i
realised we were heading to his
hostel.
I was neither scared nor worried. I
thought I was ready for anything
that could happen.
We arrived at his hostel, the
compound was just the way it was
when i last visited, only a lot
noisier
It seems many of the students
were back from school. Music
from loud speakers played at
ridiculously high volume made it
impossible for me to hear my own
thoughts.
Some of the occupants sat
outdoors gisting and playing
board games. The stares and gazes
i was getting as Ehis and i walked
to his room made me really
uncomfortable.
Some of his friends would call his
name out loud and make
annoying comments. I just kept a
straight face and ignored. I
couldn’t wait to get out of sight.
We climbed up the stairs into his
room. It wasn’t much different
from how i last saw it, though it
was a little untidy.
I sat down on the side of the bed,
anticipating what will happen
next. Ehis handed me one of the
customized paper bags.
It contained a plate of rice and
ice cream in a can. This was
exactly what i needed, i was
famished already.
Ehis headed for the door.
” I’m coming, i have to buy
something from the chemist down
the road” Ehis said, making his
way out of the room.
” ok, but don’t leave me alone
here for long” I replied,
wondering what he had to buy at
this time.


>>

HEAR MY STORY
Episode 7

I didnt attend choir practise on saturday nor church
service on sunday because i didnt want to see Mrs Williams. I've
made up my mind not to tell her anything and i knew she
would ask me if she set her eyes on me.
I didnt know i was only adding more petrol to a burning
fire.
Some choir members came again after service to check on
me,thinking i haven't recovered fully or not strong enough to
attend service.Of course when i saw them,i pretended to be
weak still.
Bode came later in the evening when everybody had left.
He said "I knew you didnt come to church today because of me,not
because of ur health. You refuse to forgive me despite my pleas.I
told you its the work of d devil, pls let's be doing as we used to..pls now"..He began to weep.
I was moved with passion when i saw him weeping.I went to
him,gave him a gentle pat on the back,and said "that's
okay.Stop crying.It wasnt only your fault,but mine too.We
both need to ask God for forgiveness and make sure it
doesnt happen...."
Before i could finish my sentence,he got up,held me n
began to kiss me.Every attempt to rescue myself out of his
hand failed.At a time,i surrendered,and....
.
.
.
It happened again!
Before i could put myself together,Bode dressed up and
ran out of my room.
I started weeping.
"Lord, i've done it again.I disobeyed yoU.I didnt yield to the
voice of the Holyspirit. What will i do now?".
For days,i was praying and weeping,asking God for
forgiveness and what to do,i didnt hear anything as i
heard it earlier.It was so obvious that something was wrong
with me,as i was a shadow of myself.Even my dressing
changed,a 60yr old woman would dress better.
Everybody was asking,"what's wrong with you? Hope there's
no problem.Are you still sick?".
My usual answer was "No problem,all is well"..but within
me,i knew nothing was well.
I wasnt attending mid-week services also.I would prefer to
be in my room,and be thinking.The thought that bothered me
most was "Will God ever forgive me?.
If the first one was a mistake,what about this one?".
Mrs Williams called me one wednesday evening after having
prayer meeting in church."Sis Sewa,i noticed you were not in
church today for the prayer meeting,how are u?.Are you not
okay yet?".
"I'm fine ma".
"Then, why have you been keeping yourself away from church?".
"Nothing ma."
"you've started again.Oh!.that reminds me, you promised to tell
me something the other day,will u come and see me tomorrow
after school?. I will be waiting for you at the church office."
"What time ma?"
"Let's make it 4pm".
"Ok ma".
She hung up.
My heart began to beat very fast. I could hear the sound.
What will i say?. Maybe i should just cook up a
story..but,what if she knew it's all lies. Oh my God!..what
mess have i gotten myself into?. How will i get out of this now?.
As i was pondering over this, my phone rang.
It was my dad.I picked it.

>>

A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was immediately transported
to the hospital.
While she was in surgery she had a supernatural, near death experience.
She met God and asked him: "Has my time come?"

He answered: "No, you have 43 years, 2 months and 8 more days to live."


After she recovered, the woman decided to stay in hospital and do
plastic surgery on her face, liposuction, breast enlargement and
abdominal fat removal.
She also called a hair stylist to change her hairstyle and an
orthodontist to perform a ‘teeth lifting’.
She figured, if she had so much time in front of her, she should live
the best way possible.

After her last plastic surgery and not until she has recovered, she wore
a new dress with matching heels, left the hospital, went across the
street and a truck run over her…


While crossing the gates to heaven, she reached God and demanded to know
what happened: "You told me I had 43 more years! Why didn’t you save me
from that truck?"
And he answered: "I didn’t recognize you."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-04-14 08:37:26

479 Views



Words of Wisdom [Read it]


Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.If you give her a sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.So, if you give her any aggravation, be ready to receive a ton of stuff in return.Related

the gift [Read it]


akpos is a mc,so he was called to a party as master of ceremony(mc) as the party was goin on the mc ulter a statement saying'no one must go back home with his/her gift.after d ceremony they notice a little girl crying,after proper investigation the girl name is gift,just imagine,,,,,after locating her parent house,they ask them the reason why they left their daughter at the party? They both replied,,it has spoken NO ONE MUST TAKE HOME HIS/HER GIFT BACK HOME............one word for these parent


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-21 11:52:06

466 Views




You think 1 kobo is
useless? Then try buying
an MTN caller tune with #
49.99k.
You think 0.01 is surely
insignificant? Then go ask
the guy who graduated
from the polytechnic with a
CGPA of
3.49 on the scale of 4.
You think 1 mark isn't such
a big deal? Then go ask a
final-year student who
scored 39 in a course.
You think 1 second doesn't
count? Then try losing to
Hussein Bolts by 1 second
and see how it feels.
You think 1 goal is nothing
spectacular? Then go
ask Jose Mourinho why
didn't his club lift the
Community Shield.
You think 1 person can't
make any. difference?
Then go ask the president
who narrowly escaped
impeachment
by just 1 vote.
The lesson here is:
Learn to love and
appreciate what you have
no matter how small or
insignificant it looks. What
you consider small and
unimportant could have
made a huge difference in
other people's lives



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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My Virgin story 5
I looked at her face. Even in the darkness i could see the passion dissolve fom her eyes.
I was angry at the intruder. It turned out it was a security man, on patrol.
I rebuked him, remiding him of the need to mind his own business.
he apologized, saying he had seen our shadows from afar and thought it was cultists smoking marijuana.
Then he had moved closer to find out. If he knew, he wouldn't have disturbed us cos understand that body no be firewood.
Anyway, the damage was already done. .
Precious was quiet throughout our walk back back to the class.
When we got to the class I reminded her about what we were doing and whether we coould continue later.
She said she was not supposed to be cheating on her boyfriend and that she was feeling guilty.
Even though she liked me, she was still in-love with her boyfriend.
She had been carried away earlier by her attaraction to me, but she wouldn't let that get into her head anymore. But we could still be friends.
There was no need crying over spilt milk.
Before we parted that night,
I took one last look at her and realized I would never have another chance to bleep this angel.i soon moved on with life.
in my second year, first semester, I was already getting familiar with how to handle women, but i was still sexually in-experienced.
My teachers were to be my roommates. I had the most unique three roommates. The first guy, Shola,
who was nicknamed Awo because of his trademark glasses was an x-rated movie freak. He had in his possesion, the largest, most elaborate collection of porno films on campus.
People from far and near consulted him for blue films.
He didn't just have them, his knowledge about the adult industry is so vast he knew everything going on,
the who is who in the industry.
He even had connection with some adult movie stars. He introduced me to porn.
The first time I watched porn, I thought it was disgusting so much I wanted to puke,
especially at the scene of girls swallowing cum.
But I soon got used to it.
I realized it was the easiest way of knowing the female sexual anatomy and undersstanding how sex works.
It was a tradition in our room that every friday night was x-rated night.
Awo's inner circle of x-rated freaks would converge in our room to watch blue film all night long.
my second roommate was Tolu, nicknamed gentle because of his smooth swagger.
Gentle wasn't actually gentle,
especially when there was an event to attend.
He was a party freak. No event on campus was complete without gentle gracing the occassion.
He introduced me to parties and clubbing.
His fast paced lifestyle made him acquainted with many beautiful girls whom he introduced to friends in his inner circle. Nobody makes use of this opportunity more than my third roommate,
Femi who was nicknamed Arsenal because he plays his game smoothly. Femi was a player and a sex freak.
At the beginning of the semester, he used to bring this girl into the room and bang her in the corner so much the girl would be screamingrn'Yeh, Yeh.
O ti do mi pa oh' meaning he has overbanged me.
we would be in the room savouring the sounds.
Awo would not hesitate to take some snapshots with his digital camera, he was that perversed.
Well, for obvious reasons, the girls kept coming back for more and Femi kept giving them what they wanted.
I used to look up to him, wishing that one day, I would be able to rip a gal's kitty apart.
But I knew inside me, I was still an innocent boy.
Bad company, they say, corrupt good manners. A situation soon came up where my sexuality and my innocence were put to test.in the middle of the semester,I went to one of the biggest events on campus, the miss campus.
I ended up getting introduced by gentle to the queen and her friend.
Like I said earlier, gentle was familiar with most of the big girls on campus.
In fact the girl that won the miss campus was his former girlfriend. I don't need to describe Jumoke, the beauty queen, you should know how a beauty queen would look.
Doyin her friend was also a beauty. She was tall, fair and slim. Both the queen and his friend were warm personalities.
I started discussing with the girls because they were novel freaks like me. I ended upgetting an appointment to their apartment off campus the following day.
i showed up at the apartment the following day. I found six girls in the sitting room, including Jumoke and Doyin. She explained that they were all friends and they went everywhere together. They were all beautiful.
I was introduced to the remaining four girls; Titi, Tracy, Sandra and patience.
Tracy was dating one of the biggest guys on campus while patience later told me she wanted to become a reverend sister. what a weird girl. Jumoke, Tracy, Doyin and Patience were living in the apartment while Titi and sandra lived togeether on campus.
The moment I met Titi, I knew something special was going to happen between us. Reader, you know every guy dreams of meeting that special girl that will make the man in him come alive, one that will move his heart, and not just his prick, one that will make him smile and speak with his mind and not just his mouth. Well, for me Titi was that girl. She was extraordinarily beautiful.
she was of average height, fair-skinned and cute. She had a slim body with tiny waist, that is my favourite.
She had this innocent smile on her face that got me hypnotized and she had dimples. I didn't hesitate to shake hands with her.
I instantly commented on how beautiful she is and she smiled. she seemed to me to be somehow soft-spoken. I was attracted to this girl, not just her body, but also her personality.rnSandra was Titi's opposite.
Although equally beautiful, she attracted me in a dangerous, sensous way. She was voluptously sexy with wide, smooth curves all over her body. She had all the assets in the right places; big ass, heavy bossoms etc.
But I wasn''t interested in any of it. my mind was focussed on her friend as I shook hands with her. She was reported to be a big aristo girl on campus with loads of cash and she was kind of snobbish.
She wasn't snobbish to me, but she had this cold, wickedly sensous smile that I was sure was calculated to make me fall for her charms.enough of description of those two. The day went well and I had an interesting time with the girls.
We chatted and played games and they all tried to know more about me. they all liked me cos they said i had a warm, lively personality and I was intellectual.
I went back that day dreaming about Titi.
I became friends with the girls. They used to move together, they were all from the same department.
They go to class together. they even read together. I used to visit them at the apartment and also visit Titi's room on campus.
It soon became clear to sandra that I didn't like her and she reciprocated.
She shunned and dissed me at every opportunity.
I soon made my mind known to Titi that I loved her from the first day I met her.
She said she felt the same way about me and we started dating. But she said from the beginning that one condition; there would be no sex because she was a virgin.
I didn't mind initially, I was in love with her.rnReaders, remember this was my first serious relationship;
Titi was my first girlfriend, so i was desperate to make it work.
Even though I was intensely aroused ny her, I had to control myself. On several occassions we got to different stages of foreplay but didn't do the real thing.
We could kiss and smooch, i could even fumble with her boobs but she never allowed me to take the ultimate prize.
Perhaps she thought her method would keep me wanting her and thus keep the relationship.
She thought I would be faithful and not even look at another girl.
Well, her best friend would soon prove her wrong.rnOne day, I was with Titi in her room as usual when sandra walked in. As usual, we didn’t greet. She went straight to her corner and ignored us.
I was playing with my girlfriend.
Then we became hungry and she wanted to cook.
She realized that she didn’t have enough ingredients, so she left me and went out to buy some.
Before she left, she told Sanda jokingly that she should take care of me.
Well, Sandra took care of me, but in a way that broke her best friend’s heart to be continued

>>

Episodes:

Bring my gun [Read it]


One day, thieves came to Akpos’ house.


His father quickly noticed them and asked Akpos to bring his gun.


After Akpos brought him his gun, he told him to hide in the room. As the thieves entered, his father brandished his gun at them and they began to tremble.


Suddenly, Akpos came out of the room. His father, surprised, commanded, “Go inside!”


Akpos shouted back, &ldquoad, you forgot to put water into the gun.”


Akpos’ father is currently in the hospital receiving treatment.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-23 00:14:59

280 Views




Continues..
Me: yes who is knocking?
Knocker:Milly its me Presley
Miranda:please tell him am not around. I don’t want trouble
Meconfused) hmmmm,eh, Presley I am sorry but miranda is not here
Presley:don’t you dare lie to me. I know exactly that Miranda is in there
Me:I am serious she is not here
Presley: please stop the lies!(shouting) sh was not in class today and neither has she been seen around and she doesn’t go anywhere without having me informed. So open this door I want to see my girlfriend!
I forgot that the door was not locked with the key. As I was running towards the door to lock it with the keys, I guess he heard my footsteps. He opened the door in full force and anger. I just freezed seeing him this angry. He looked at me and went to miranda. I closed the door and stood there.
Presley:what happened? Who did this to you?
Mirandatrying to close the topic) come on babe forget about this I am fine
Presley:how can I when your face is no longer your Face? Who did this?
Miranda: uhmmmm, nobody, trust me its okay.
Presley:don’t you dare lie to Mr! I heard it all. I knew all that happened
Miranda:since you know please just let it go. I don’t want trouble please
Presley:don’t tell me you are scared of those bitches
Miranda:am not but I still don’t want trouble
Presley:I know hon. But I won’t let it go not that easily. Preston is out looking for Belinda
Mirandakay. Thanks
Presley:its nothing yet
I got irritated at the sight of seeing them kissing no not irritated but jealous I guess. I looked again and the kissing turned into something else. I left the room. I couldn’t stay at the doorpost either because I started hearing moans like harder, faster, baby come on. I started feeling uneasy so u strolled out. I walked around until I decided to sit on a bench under a tree. It was a very cool and comfortable spot. Just then a car parked in front of me..
To be continued..


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpors bought a donkey from a
preacher. The preacher told him, “this donkey has been trained in a very
unique way. The only way to make the donkey go is to say Hallelujah,
and the only way to make it stop is to say Amen.”

Akpors immediately got on the animal to try out the preacher’s
instructions. “Hallelujah!” He shouted. And immediately the donkey began
to trot.

“Amen!” He shouted again, and the donkey stopped immediately.

“This is great,” he said.

With Hallelujah he rode off very proud of his purchase. Akpors travelled
for a long time through some mountains. Soon he was heading towards a
cliff. He could not remember the word to make the donkey stop. “STOP!”
He blurted, “HALT!” He blurted again.

The donkey just kept going, “Oh no, Bible! Church! Please stop!” Cried Akpors.

He was getting closer and closer to the edge of the cliff. Finally in desperation, Akpors said a

prayer, “Please, dear God, please make this donkey stop before i go off this mountain, in

Jesus name, AMEN!” The donkey came to an abrupt stop, just one step from the edge of the cliff.

Immediately the donkey stopped, Akpors could not contain his joy and he joyously shouted “HALLELUJAH!”
Can you guess what happened next?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-07 21:11:11

339 Views




Akpos Teacher Entered Her Class To Teach,Sundenly A Boy Started Laughing,the Teacher Asked Him Why He Was Laughing,the Boy Told The Teacher That He Saw A Strap Of Her Bra,the Teacher Got Angry And Sent The Boy Out Of The Class Saying That He Has Two Weeks Suspension.While Teaching,another Boy Started Laughing,the Teacher Asked The Boy That Why Is He Laughing,the Boy Said He Saw Both Straps Of The Bra,the Teacher Got Angry And Sent Him Out Of The Class Too Saying He Has Four Weeks Suspension.While Teaching Again,her Chalk Fell Down In Front Of Akpos And She Bend Down To Pick It.Sundenly Akpos Pick Up His Bag And Was Going Out Of The Class.The Teacher Stopped Him And Asked Him Why He Was Going Out Of The Class,he Replied Saying That What He Saw When She Bend Down Was An Automatic Expulsion For Him


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-17 12:43:40

223 Views




TEACHER: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do?
STUDENT: I'd jump over the wall.
TEACHER: If the lion jumps over as well?
STUDENT: I'd climb a tree.
TEACHER: If the lion climbs the tree?
STUDENT: I will jump into the lake and swim.
TEACHER: If the lion also jumps into the water and swims after you?
STUDENT: Sir, are you on my side or on the lion's?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-14 19:54:09

152 Views



on d mic [Read it]


My legs were pulled on the joke "how to borrow airtime and never pay back" but as a guy man nothing de happen. lol nairajoke.com on point


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-18 13:16:06

141 Views




I need ur help pls!!!!!!!! save me out of this mess before things get out of hands. Last night as I was deeply sleeping snoring with all the strength, my mouth wide open, a rate entered my mouth, right now I can feel it moving in my tommy. Should I swallow cat to eat it off or take rat poison, pls reply fast before thing get out of hand.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-13 01:03:09

557 Views




Three men an hausa man,an igbo man and a yoruba man were on a trip to d distant land on nite bus wen suddenly d bus broke down and dey bagan to wonder in the forest when dey fell into the hands of cannibals who were about to eat dem but dey pleaded for their lives den the leader of the cannibals said dat d only way for dem to live is for dem to look for fruits and bring it for as many as they could find so dey went out in search of fruits d yoruba man was the first to return with three apples den d leader of the cannibals asked him to swallow d fruits without any xpression on his face but he could ot and dey killed him d igbo man came with ten strwberries he was asked to do d same tin wich he almost made it through he had swallowed nine of them with no expression on his face but when he was about to take in the last one he started laughin and so dey killed him wen he got to the spirit world he saw d yoruba man who said"my friend why did you laugh you almost made it through"then the igbo man answered and said"i know but i could not help myself wen i saw the HAUSA MAN COMING WITH WATERMELONS!!!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-14 14:56:40

521 Views




Who love me most
Episode 3

Emma:guy how far

they gave themselves an handshake

Chidi:yes (till focusing on his phone )

Emma:non be human being I dey talk to,chidi

Chididropped the phone )am all ears.

Emma:you and Facebook, may looking at you could tell me that there's one little witch that you are chatting with am I right

he gave that look that make it seen he was sure,chidi laugh out loud that you could hear him from afar.

Chidi:why do you call them names you don't even know them

Emma:that doesn't mean anything, I know their type you hear mtcheeew.

giving out a loud hisses,chidi was a lover of women,or should I use the word a player,he never really take any girl serious his good looking and money could get any girl begging to have him just for one night.

Chidi:yes sir,I have heard you.

Emma gave that I don't care look .

Chidi:where have you been I came to your room but you weren't around, I even try calling you but not available.

Emmasign)yea my phone went off,any problem.

Chidi:you and problem,nothing really I just thought I could have a little chat with you.

Emma:chat,is that so

Chidi:yeah

Emma:I went to Sandra house

Sandra and Emma has been dating for 5years now since their secondary school days,their love was inseparable,every students in the school knows they are together they both find it difficult no to see each other for just one day.

Chidi:how is she

Emman:she is fine,guess what

Chidiconfused )what

Emma:when I went to see Sandra, I was in the sitting room waiting for her to dress up cause we were going out,I was just there and blood of Jesus behold an Angel (hitting his two foots down to make it seen real)

Immediately chidi laugh hard so hard that he nearly fall off his bed

chidi:Angel for real

Emma:if you see this girl,if not that I controlled myself only God knows what could have happens to me.

Chidi:you don't mean it,who is she

Emma:I asked Sandra and she said she is their new room mate

chidi:if this girl is as beautiful the way you are singing about her,you know me

Emma got up laughing and shouting

Emma:bad guy

chidi smile in unpleasant way

Chidi:let me see her first,then leave the rest to me.

Emma:chidi you and women, listen if you see this one you will know that God created a wonderful thing on earth.

Chidi:let me see her,have you seen Godwin and Jude.

Emma:no I haven't

Chidi:do you have classes later or now.

Emmalook at his watch)no not now

Chidi:why don't we go out am bored at home.

Emmakey but bill on you (chidi laughed)yes be

Chidi:no problem

chidi changed his clothes to something better in no second they went out of the room the both went into chidi range rover and drove off.

------------------------------------------
Back at the village Mrs uche was going to the market singing an igbo song when a car drove passed her and stoped,a short woman,dark in complexsion came down from the car she called Mrs uche, Mrs uche turned to see who was calling her to her greatest surprise it was her old time friend who travel out of the country with her husband and children some years back.

Mrs uche :ada is that you

the both hug eachother

Mrs uche :look at you (admiring mrs ada Marcus beautiful body)

Mrs Ada Marcus :how have you been

Mrs uche excited )am fine ooooo am the way you left me

Mrs Ada Marcus :my friend, (laughing )but you are looking good.

Mrs uche :when did you came back.

Mrs ada Marcus :last two weeks, I was In Abuja am just entering the village now.

Mrs uche :how is your husband,hope he is fine.

Mrs ada Marcus :he is fine ,he is till in the state's

Mrs uche h okey and what about your children.

Mrs ada Marcus :they are all okey and where is Amara.

Mrs uche :Amara (smile like a proud mother )Amara is now in the university

Mrs ada Marcus surprised )you don't mean it

Mrs uche :yes ooooo

Mrs ada Marcus :I have always see her as a bright child.

Mrs uche :we thank God oooo (raising her hands to the heavens ).

Mrs ada Marcus :where are you off too.

Mrs uche :am going to the market to get somethings.

Mrs ada Marcus :let's enter my car let me drop you.

Mrs uche :if you say so.

Mrs ada Marcus :let's go

they both entered the car till laughing and talking,Mrs ada Marcus turned back to the direction that Mrs uche was going to and drove off.
-------------------------------------

It has been some weeks and Amara has adjusted to so many things in the school and in her apartment,there were their more girls that live with her in the flat, Sandra,Annabelle and princess they were all nice to her and made her stay there a lot easier. She was in the sitting room watching movie title "Atlanta season 2" cause she had no tv in her own room yet , she heard a knock on the door quickly she went and open the door, there stoop Emma and chidi,chidi was looking at her like who just found a diamond in his bag as don't know what to do with it.

Amara :hi good day (opening the door wide for them to come in)

Emmasmiling )good day is Sandra in

Amara :she is inside please you can in (she left the door as soon as she ushered them in).

Emmalow tone)I told you,so what do you think.

Chidiamazed)wow,you are so right.

Emma:come on let's go inside

they both entered the sitting room, Amare was already sitted

Emma:you didn't go to lecture today.

Amara :no I had no class .

Emma:this is my friend chidi (pointing at chidi )

Amare:hi (with a smile )

Chidi:hi

Emma:I will be in Sandra room,please make my friend comfortable.

Amara key

Emma gave chidi a go ahead signal and walked into Sandra room,chidi Sat on the couch starring at Amara who was concentrating on the movie she was watching.

Chidi:it sees you are enjoying the movie.

Amara :yeah it's interesting

Chidi:so what's the name ,I mean your name.

Amara :Amara

Chidi:what a nice name (chidi isn't good at wooing a girl on like every other girls that always want to be around him but in this case he knows he need to try)you must be new in this school.

Amarefaced him)yeah,I just started the school not up to two weeks now.

Chidi:you are beautiful I must confuse, you know that.

Amara smile )I know just where you are driving at but please an not really interested

the word not interested was like a slap to his face but till he has to stand his ground.

Chidi:no,no,no,no I am not driving at that direction, Am only letting you know how beautiful you are,please don't get offended.

Amara felt bad as she has use the wrong words on him.

Amara :am sorry if I got you wrong, I thought.

Chidicut in)there's no problem it's normal for every lady to feel insecure so nothing is wrong.

Amara :thanks

Chidi:you look just like my friend way back.

Amara:is that so

Chidi:yeah for real

Amara:guys i sometimes don't understand you people.

Chidiconfused )how do you mean.

Amara :nothing am just saying

Chidih no problem since you said nothing .

chidi wanted to hear all she had to say but he just don't want to force the word out of her mouth, just about then Emma and Sandra came holding eachother playing like the two love birds that they are.

Emma:my man my man (patting him one his shoulder )

Sandra:chidi hi

Chidi gave Sandra a quick smile

Emmajokefuly)leave chidi oh, he is enjoying himself.

Chidi:please let me be.

Sandra :Amara

Amara :ha

Emma :hope you took care of my friend.

Chidi spoke as Amara wanted to utter a word

Chidi:yes she did ,she did a prefect job

Sandra :I can see that

Chidi:should we start going

Emma:yes (chidi got up ).

Sandra :you guys should take care of yourself.

Emma :are you not seeing me off come on.

Sandra :alright let's go. (They both laughed)

Chidi:alright nice talking with you.

Amara :the pleasure is mine.

Chidikey bye.

Emma:bye

Sandra :am coming.

Amarakey

Chidi,Emma and Sandra went outside while Amara continued with her movie.

It was morning, the cry of the birds can till be heard from afar .Mrs uche was sweeping her compound when a car drove into her compound, she was surprised and she stoped sweeping, a young boy on his 20's came out of the car he was looking smart and handsome too.

young boy :good morning mam

mrs uche :yes good day,may I help you.

young boy :mam, it's like you don't recognize me.

Mrs uche try to picture the face but it was till blank

Mrs uche :no I don't know you and I don't think we have meant before.

Young boy :it's me Maxwell.

Leave your comments
and read the next episode


>>

Desmond and his friends the manner of university undergraduate and how they had find themselves new girls and the different girls they met in school back then that had fallen in love with Desmond but none of them suite him;they mock him because he had a betroth,he is stock to a girl. he tired making them understanding is not his way of life not because of Georgina his betroth. they talk about girl that refuse of every boy in campus and who will get her heart will have a price.....

Tosin: it is nice staying away from your parent and sibling to worry you;no one to tell you what to do;when to be home and when to go out. i am really going to used my time very well,while it last
Alfred: just imagine those girls at the matriculation;God,they were very beautiful,full of style and skill. so clean

Tunde: and is that not;while most boys in the university misbehave,most of them never really come out well at the end
Desmond: that is why dad is always saying,'Nigeria university are training rubbished,making the society a cabbage bin when they graduate' they have nothing to offered, all waste of time and energy
Tosin: who is talking about making nothing out of life? fine,we are at the university to study and attend lecture;that shouldn't mean,we should let the university passed through us without we going through the university. don't you know that all work and no play make jack a dull boy;me,i don't want that to happen to me

Alfred: look at those girls at the hall with her friends;they are so beautiful. God i like the one with the name Ann and she didn't play any hard nut to crack
Ayo: is like she is already falling for you before you approach her;even Anita;my new found girlfriend is just that i truly love her
Tosin: i love Tosan because she is beautiful and smart;when i told her i like her. she did not complain. she just accepted
Ayo: Tunde;i know you are not like Desmond but you haven't tell us which one;you are falling for

Tunde: its crazy;i don't know but i am falling for Stephanie. she is calm
Alfred: this boy;you are going mad;bananas;that girl don't even go there;she is not interested in any boy in this campus. boy;i like your courage
Ayo: my friends told me;she is not having an affair with any boy. any boy that come closer;she will rejected them,'saying she is not ready for that'
Alfred: i think the other girl;Tina is in love with you and i know she will make a nice girl for you and she look like someone from a rich family
Tunde: i will think about it
Ayo: do it fast before it is too late
Tosin: Desmond;so you don't want to change this your way of life?
Alfred: leave him alone;he is not married but yet behaving like a married man. boy come out from your shell and live life like the way others are doing
Ayo: Alfred;did you not remember those two girls in class during secondary school days,that fall for him but he refuse to respond to that
Tosin: forget about those two girls;what about Ruth;that did everything for Desmond to smile at her but he is crazy not to see the beauty of that girls
Tunde: but do you know i like that girl but she is in love with Desmond. even when i show her love;she did not want it

Alfred: maybe;he is scared of love and heartbreak
Desmond: am not;is just that i don't want to tell a girl,i love you with my lips and my heart is saying something else;i don't want to build a girl hope so high;when i don't feel anything for her
Tosin: maybe;is because of his betroth Georgina
Desmond: you are funny;you are making me laugh;why would you say that it is because of Georgina?fine she is my betroth and i love her;i don't want to hurt because i want to marry her
Alfred: you see what i am telling you. he is scared of polygamy. come on;going out with a girl that does not mean you must get married to her
Ayo: Desmond;come out from your shell and face reality
Tosin: you guys should forget about Desmond even if you talk from now till the end of the world;nothing will change. i have a proposal for everyone;if you are in;say so now but if you are not;say so also
Ayo: what kind of a proposal is that?
Tosin: just say yes;that is all that is needed form you. then i will tell you the proposal
Desmond: i cannot say yes;when i do not know;what is the deed about?
Tunde: he is right;we are not fools to accept something we know nothing of
Tosin: fine;you guys won. is all about getting that girl that is proven difficult to get;Stephanie
Tunde: she is friends to those girls
Tosin: yes;she is the one. what is wrong?
Alfred: you know she had rejected all of us at one point in time and how do you expect us to go after;when we are dating her friend;she wouldn't agree
Ayo: i don't think is good idea

Tunde: i am interested
Tosin: you are just a chicken;that is why she did not like you?is a bet;we will all pay an hundred thousand whoever she fall for will have the money
Ayo: its interesting but i don't think she will fall for any guy but if it is the money;i am in but i am not contesting
Tosin: and i think everyone is interested
All: yes
Tosin: now who will contest for us?it has to be one of us. if nobody is willing let make our choice
Ayo: i choose Desmond
Alfred: is because you don't want your money to lost
Tunde: i support Ayo
Alfred: if you guys say so
Tosin: Desmond is it a deed?
Desmond: am just looking at you boys. how do you expect me to tell a girl that i love her;when i don't. i can't do that. i am not heartless like you boys
Alfred: i told you boys;he is a chicken and he is scared of losing
Desmond: i am not scared of anything is just that my conscience will not allow me to
Tunde: we are saying the same thing;if you not then accept it
Desmond: fine;i accept
Tosin: this is the best decision of your life
Desmond: i don't want anything serious
Tosin: we are heading somewhere. you don't have to be rough with her but just give proof. as in her phone number;like her address;paying her a visit and she also paying you a visit,as in;close something hugging her;you know what you and a girl will do that will prove that you two are having an affair
Alfred: you shouldn't be the only one doing this things;if not i will not give you my money
Desmond: i know but how long will it last

Tosin: the relationship or when to get her?which of them?
Desmond: both of them
Tosin: it can't be both because when you finally get her is different from when the relationship will end. if the two are same time length and you get her almost the whole time;that means you do not work for the money
Desmond: that means anytime i get her;that is when the counting start
Tosin: yes
Desmond: when is the suppose relationship going to stop?
Tosin: Ayo;what do you think?
Ayo: it should be a month;am i speaking the mind of all
Tosin: that is fine by me. anything else that you guys want from him?
Tunde: i want Desmond to end the relationship in this house at the front of all at the end of the month
Tosin: is it a deed Desmond
Desmond: yes;it is
Tosin: so let the game begin(curtain)

at the school restaurant Stephanie and Anita eating and Desmond came to excuse Stephanie to have a word with her. he told her that he wanted them to have a deed;for her to pretend to be his girlfriend. she told him,'she wanted nothing serious with any boy in her life;so she did not want to be involve. he also told her that he don't want anything serious also because he has a betroth;someone he loved and told her everything about the sharing of the money and he is going to think about it but promise boy that she is not going to say a word to any
(restaurant)
(enter Stephanie/Anita)
Anita: sit;Stephanie and stop moping like a ghost
Stephanie: is just that i hate eating outside home
Anita: you hate eating outside or you don't want to spent the money on it
Stephanie: both of them. i will prefer to used the money to prepare food at home;instead of wasting it
Anita: don't worry;i will pay for that;not you
Stephanie: i know but i don't want to bothered you
Anita: and who says you are bothering me;anyway start eating and stopping talking;if you don't want your food to go the wrong throat. Stephanie look at that boy;we saw at the matriculation party;that every girl is dying for. whoa he is so cute and look rich. i like that
Stephanie: Anita;will you stop admiring a boy that doesn't know if you exist and don't care about you. girl forget about that,those kind of boys have girls in their life and i thought you said you in love with Ayo. is that not what you told me?
Anita: yes and i haven't said anything against that. girl;he is coming towards us. is like i am going to give up
Stephanie: baby comfort yourself before he think you are already falling for him before he say he like you
Anita: silent;he is almost here;he is just a table from here
Desmond: hi girls;can i sit with you

Anita: sure;you can sit
Desmond: thank you;my name is Desmond Jackson;i am a medical student of this university,three hundred level
Anita: i thought you were an hundred level boy. anyway my name is Anita;i am in business administration in this university and i am an hundred level student
Desmond: what about your friend?
Anita: she is Stephanie....
Desmond: Girl are you are mouthpiece?let her speak for herself
Stephanie: my name is Stephanie;i am a law student and an hundred level;jamb bite
Desmond: will you mind if i talk to you outside
Stephanie: but i am with my friend
Desmond: i won't take much of your time
Stephanie: but...
Anita: don't worry;i will wait;just go ahead(exit Desmond/Stephanie)(outside the restaurant)
Desmond: please sit at the fence;i don't want you to stand
Stephanie: don't worry;i can manger
Desmond: i have a business proposal for you. i don't want you to feel bad;is just that i want you to pretend to be my lover
Stephanie: ha ha ha ha!you make me laugh;do you know you are funny?how can you tell a girl to pretend to live you;when you would have just tell her,you love her?
Desmond: i don't want to say that;when i know my heart is not with you
Stephanie: guys do say that,'even when they have an interior motive in their heart. fine;why do you want to do want to do this?when your heart is not there
Desmond: is just that i and my friend had a bet on you;that whoever you fall for;will have five hundred thousand to himself

Stephanie: so you are coming because of the money involved?i am not that cheap;so i am not involved. goodbye
Desmond: please wait;is not all because of the money;is just that i want to prove to my friends that i can still talk to a girl and she will agree to my proposal and that i am not a coward
Stephanie: and you think;you are doing the right thing by cheating;by telling me the truth?do you know what i hate;is people that want to please others instead of themselves and i hate cheat

Desmond: even if you hate cheat;you don't hate the truth or do you?
Stephanie: fine;i don't hate truth but i am not ready for anything serious. i don't want to get into any relationship with any boy for now;i just want to face my study and make my sisters happy;that is all i want
Desmond: i too do not want anything serious because i have a betroth whom i love and i wouldn't like to hurt her in anyway because she has been my childhood love and has for the sharing of the money;there is no problem but i am going to give you three hundred thousand from it;that way i will be fair. please don't say no
Stephanie: its a nice one but i am going to think about it;I will get back to you. once i have made up my mind
Desmond: i beg you please;mentioned this to no one;you know your friends are friends to my friend
Stephanie: don't worry;i promise;i wouldn't tell anyone about it. not even my friend
Desmond: how do i see you again?
Stephanie: don't worry;we will meet at the school library;i always go there
Desmond: let me get you things
Stephanie: don't worry
Desmond: don't say no
Stephanie: okay
Desmond: goodbye then
Stephanie: goodbye(exit Desmond and she returned to Anita)sorry
Anita: what kept you so long?and what have you being discussing?
Stephanie: nothing serious;he only said,'he wanted me to....never mind because i don't know how to say it
Anita: yes;he said,'he like you' or what did he say?
Stephanie: yes;he said he like me but i told him;i will think about it
Anita: Stephanie;have you been drinking?why did you say,'you want to think about it' you don't have to think about it because he us a boy,every girl want to be around him and if you don't take time;someone else will just have him
Stephanie: Anita;lets go(back to the apartment of Tosan and friends)how are you?
Tosan: madams;so you girls don't want to come back?anyway we are fine
Ann: who gave you take away?
Anita: most you know everything?is nor of business
Tina: come on;be outspoken;if a boy give you things,you don't have to hid it because very soon everything that is a secret will no longer be
Tosin: leave Anita;is it Ayo that brought it for you?tell me;i can't wait to hear

Anita: come off it;is not;i and Stephanie run into that boy at the matriculation party;that we were talking about;he gave all these things to us
Tosan: what do you mean us and the boy at the matriculation party?explain
Anita: the fair boy that is tall and look calm at the party;that we all thought he is in hundred level
Tina: the one we all called jamb bite;Tunde's cousin
Ann: and he decided to fall in love with Stephanie. remember his friends told us that he has a betroth and likes no one else
Tina: i like you because you think big and dream of things that may never fall into place

Tosan: maybe because he had not see more girls in school;he is just new it meant be infatuation
Anita: who told you he is new?he is not. he is three years ahead of all of us;he is a medical student and his name is Desmond
Ann: seriously;this thing is getting interesting
Anita: that is the truth but i am not the one he is interested in
Tina: then who?is he asking you to talk to someone for him?
Anita: girls slow down;he is not asking me to help him but he said he is in love with Stephanie
Tina: what?you mean?
Tosan: wait let me get it straight;the boy is in love with Stephanie and what did Stephanie say?
Anita: she said,'she told him;that he will think about it'
Tosan: Stephanie,come here,what kind of a girl are you?you are given a golden opportunity but you want to blow it up
Stephanie: is not that i don't want something good but i am not ready for that
Tina: stop pretending Stephanie;you are dying for him;you just want us to tell you to accept it;if you are waiting for that from me;you will never get it;am out of here
Tosan: don't be jealous Tina;he is not in love with you;his mind and heart is with someone else. ignore her;please say yes to him;don't say know. so we can have this kind of things always
Ann: do you hear that?a stitch in time save nine
Stephanie: don't worry;i will make my mind in a short while;after all there is harm in trying. thanks anyway for caring about me. i have class to attend. bye for now(at school library)what are you doing sitting all alone?

Chioma: nothing serious;am just waiting for someone and you;do not want anything from me?
Stephanie: i have a problem
Chioma: is it serious
Stephanie: no but is just that my sister told me that a boy said,'he want her friend to pretend to be his girlfriend and he is going to pay her for the services because its a bet him and his friends had on her'
Chioma: so he told her the truth?it is nice but is there going to be any serious things involved like kissing and having intimacy together or involving in sexual immoral act?if there is nothing like that;then there is no problem,if it will not;i will accept it but she have to make it clear to him before jumping into it. don't say i was the one,that advice her to go through. he also have to state the length of time

Stephanie: thank you Chioma or always pulling me out of any difficult situation. i am fine now;at least;i am able to save my sister from this. thank you very much. goodbye then
Chioma: careful my dear






TO BE CONTINUE......



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Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy, and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it.

-Thomas JeffersonRelated

Jeeto: I have changed my mind.

Santa: Thank God ! Does the new one works now?Related

If I ever have twins, I’d use one for parts.

~ Steven WrightRelated

I met this girl in a comments, and because of her reasonable words, I decided to give her some attention. She has a loving and caring heart that cannot be despised by any man. In short the girl is a dream of every young reasonable man. I added her as a friend which she accepted! Then chatting did start, and one thing led to another, and another led to exchanging contacts. Wow! her voice is just a bonus and I was quick to ask her for a date. She said to me no problem, that if I can meet her needs, she will give me all that I am asking for! Shooow? Ask anything I will do it for you after all the bible said ask and it shall be given unto you,, I replied. She said is very simple! Guys! she demanded for the head of Abubakar Shekau and twenty foreskins of his men as a proof that i love her and that i can do anything for her.

The question now is where can I see
Abubakar Shekau so I can cut of his head. I
am now on my way to Sambisa forest to
look for Abubakar Shekau and his men.

Wish me luck joor


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-09-10 01:17:35

426 Views





Dara: Lara, what are you doing here?
Lara: I don't want to go anywhere, I just want to stay here.
Dara: father is sending us out of the country to further our studies Lara. It's a privilege and we should be happy.
Lara: you are happy? You are happy we are leaving home?
Dara: yes, I am happy I will be going to see the rest of the world, have some adventure and some fresh air. This house is choking.
Lara: why does he hate us so much? Why is he sending us away? It's bad enough mother is no more but now, he's going to send us somewhere strange, where we don't know anyone?
Dara: father wants the Best for us. That's why he want us to go abroad and further our studies. Come on Lara, you should be happy, a lot of kids our age will be glad to have this opportunity thrown at them.
Lara: I'm scared. I heard the kids over there are mean and treat others badly.
Dara: not all of them, besides, we will be there together and I will protect you, I will take care of you. Trust me Lara.
Lara: and if we are not placed in the same classroom, how will you take care of me then?
Dara: you are my twin sister, there's a bond connecting us, a very strong bond. I feel it any time you are distressed and in need of help.
Lara: you do? But I don't feel anything.
Dara: that's because you are too worried to listen to your heart, beside, I can take of myself. You are the one that needs to be protected.
Madea: come on girls, lunch is ready. Master will not be joining us for lunch today, so we won't be waiting for him. Come let me serve your meal.
Dara: yes aunty madea, we are coming. ( she pulls her sister and duo hurry into the house)
{Light fade and light on. Doctor susan's. Lara is now standing near the window while doctor Susan is sitting on her desk )
Lara: later that year, she started acting like she was crazy, she had nightmares and various fits of temper. After a while,she was taken away and she died a few days before Christmas the following year, it will be three years since she died this December.
Susan: tell me Lara who were you living with shortly before your sister got sick?
Lara: it was just us; me,dara,father and Madea. But my aunty, lape and her son came to spend a few days with us at that time.
Susan: how old was the boy then? Your Aunty's son, l mean.
Lara: he's about two years older than we are, that means he was sixteen at that time. You think he was molesting my sister?
Susan: I don't know. Did they come to spend time with you very often?
Lara: yes, they came quite often. You have to help me convince my father, doctor. I have to go back to Nigeria to find things for myself.
Susan: I'll see what I can do. Come on now, let's go to the laboratory for your tests.







NAIRAJOKES.COM




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As I bounced entered d NECO
Exam hall,I had just one prayer
on
my mind which is God pls let me
sit near a person that knows
book,cos d stupid boy i told to
send me the answers on my
phone
looks lyk who doesn't have
sense.God finaly answered my
prayer,d girl dat i sat with was
an Albino &she wore eyeglass
dat
has rope,so i knew for sure dat
she know book wella.As d paper
started,dis girl started to
misbehave o.She was just
covering her
answer,but me as a sharp guy,i
was spying d answer from 1
deadly angle.when it remain just
5 minutes to go,this girl caught
me copyin her &started
shouting @ me,but i just i
ignored
her,since i had almost copied
finish.d next thing that i heard
was
my phone's message tune.This
guy has finally sent d answer,i
sighed & then told the
invigilator to give Me a fresh
answer
booklet. I then tore d 1 dat i
copied frm d albino girl &used
the
paper to stone Her.I kept d fresh
booklet on top my table & used
1
style to open d message,i saw
"To download GBESE by Lil Kesh,
text 48 to 4900


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-19 10:02:48

416 Views



my teacher [Read it]


I Found My Teacher On Friday Sleeping In Class
Me;Sir Are You Sleeping In The Class
Teacher;No Am Not Sleeping
Me;Then What Are You Doin?
Teacher;Am Talking To God
Today I Slept In Class While He Was Teaching
Teacher;Trixy Are You Sleeping While Am Teaching?
Me;No Am Talking To God
Teacher;What Did God Tell You?
Me;He Said He Did Not Talk To You On Friday
Happy New Month


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-01 17:57:20

367 Views




Akpos and Emeka after an English exam.
Emeka : How was your paper ?
Akpos : men! It was kind of hard; I didn’t know the past
tense of ‘think’. I thought & thought and thought for a long
time then finally, i wrote ‘thunk’
Emeka : I guess you’re right because I wrote thunk after I
thought 4 a while too….
Akpos : Shit! And what about the past tense of ‘write’ ?
Emeka : I don’t know what I wrote; I think I wrote ‘written’
Akpos : That one I didn’t even bother. When I saw the next
number asking for the past tense of ‘go’, I just went out of
the Exam Room.
One word for these two


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-14 18:20:07

533 Views




Mom – Mujhe kabhi gussa nahi ata beta

Me – Balika vadhu duniya ka sabse ghatiyaa show hai :3

Mom- 10 second de rahi hu jaha bhag sakta hai bhag leRelated

JUST SAYING [Read it]


1) A guy asked u for sex and u asked, "Do u love me?.what do u expect him to say or Are U a LEARNER?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-29 18:07:32

339 Views



hunger [Read it]


there wzz a day i visit 1 of my frend in lagos (ajegunle),xoo wen i rech his house,i saw him tinking and i ask wts his problem is,and he said noo food 2 chop...... hungry nearly kill mee & and my frend,and am flately broke bts as a sharp guy i mst nt dae without any money xoo i copmmot my wollet bring d last #50 way i one use tke 4cast out...as my frnd see am he smile and we listed up to 15 food #50 naira can buy bts as we ar arguring on wt 2 buy my frend sundenly rememba dts he ave soup in his cupbord xoo we finnaly dcide 2 mke ebaaa,we buy garri #50 and my frend don 4get say he no get kerosine 4 house na sooo we stat 2 beg for kerosine as we dae beg na xoo nepaa bring light and 4 ajeguunlee if nepaa bring light na 30minutes d light goo use wey dem goo tke am back,xoo as dem bring light na soo my frend quickly plog electrick stove and he carry kettle shake am see say water dae and he put am ontop d electrick stove we jst dae happy as d water jst hot nepa tke light, me and my frend dae abuse neepaa....see our discusion..(as nepa tke light)..two of us:mtchewwwww..
mee:mtcheww oloshii pple wu beg una 2 bring light b4.
my frend:abi dem no get common sense
mee:God abeg noo let dis nepa bring light again oo
my frnd:Amennnnn
unnn..mke una see were yawaaa sae....
mee:abeg check dts water mke we mke d ebaa fast fast b4 water coid jor.
my frendwk
mee:haa mke i go wash my hand
myfrend:SHINEEKEEE!!!!!
mee:guy watin hapen?d water don cold.
myfrend:goo check am ur slf.....
mee:i open d kettle...YEEEEPPPAAAAARIIIPAAAA....
GUYS GUESS WHAT HAAPEEN...
mee:xoo naa AGBOO (harb)wee dae boil since haaa dts is to say......i neva finnish my statement my frnd don land for ground...
IF 2 SAY UU B MEE WATIN UU GOO DOO AFTER U DON PORE GARRI INSIDE D AGBOO







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-26 01:31:19

563 Views




A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, “Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.”


The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, “That’s horrible!!! So many men dying that way!”


Confused, he says, “Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.”


After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, “How many is a Brazilian?”Related

Saying thank you is more than good manners.It is good spirituality.

~ Alfred PainterRelated

Only “Itch Guard” can claim that it started it’s business from ‘scratch’.Related

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.

“You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!”

Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive.

“How do *you* know, Sister?”

“My Mother Superior told me so”

“But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?”

“Don`t be ridiculous – of course I have never taken alcohol myself”

“Then let me buy you a drink – if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life”

“How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!”

“I`ll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, them no-one will know”

The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar.

“Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks”, then he lowers his voice and says to the barman “… and could you put the vodka in a teacup?”

“Oh no! It`s not that drunken Nun again, is it?”Related
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