Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:


God made orgasms… otherwise people will not know when to stop screwing each other!Related

Teenage Love. [Read it]


**PART ONE**
CHAPTER 1…….
It was a bright saturday morning
on the 7th of september 2013.
Akinola oluwasegun was walking
along a popular street in Ibadan,
Oyo state. He was dressed in a
white T-shirt and a black pant
trouser and a black vickers shoe.
He was on his way to Loyola
College, a government owned
secondary school around Agodi
gate GRA Ibadan for his WAEC GCE
exam.
He entered into the school
compound and walked towards
the school building. Being his
first paper English Language, he
had no idea of where the
examination hall was situated.
So, he had to ask for help from
other candidates who had come
the previous days for chemistry
practicals and Commerce. He
walked up to a girl seated on the
staircase reading to ask for the
help.
“Hello, good morning.” he
greeted.
“Good morning.” she replied.
“Please, are you here for exam?”
he asked.
“Yeah.” she replied.
“Okay. Please, which way is the
examination hall.” He asked.
“I don’t know. This is my first
time here.” She answered.
(disappointed) “Okay, lets ask
others the way to the exam hall.”
He adviced.
“Okay.” She replied standing up
and dusting her skirt.
*TEN MINUTES LATER*
The invigillator walked into the
exam hall carrying a green sack
with the inscription; WEST
AFRICAN EXAMINATION COUNCIL.
No 62. He was accompanied by
five teachers of the school.
A laptop was removed and with
a thumb printing device attached
to it.
“Line up for your biometrics.”
one of the teachers barked.
After the completion of the
biometrics. The candidates were
asked to sit down according to
their numbers. The answer
booklets and the question
papers were first distributed
before the attendance was
marked. The paper lasted two
and a half hours. The paper
ended by 11:30am and they
were given 3hours break before
the commencement of the paper
2&3(objectives & the Test of
Orals respectively).
Outside the examination hall,
students were seen in group,
some in fours, in fives and so on
discussing and arguing over the
just concluded paper.
Oluwasegun(segun for short)
wast sitting alone under a big
three near the school football
pitch. He was flipping through
the pages of the WAEC English
language past question. Just then
someone tapped him from
behind. He looked up and saw
his cousin Omolayo Akinola.
He stood up and hugged her.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked.
“I came to greet my friends
writing their exam here. She
answered.
“Where is your centre?”
“Ikolaba grammar school.”she
replied.
“Most of my friends are in that
centre.”he said.
“Are you the only one here?” she
asked.
“Yes, am the only one here from
my school.”he answered.
“You must be feeling lonely
o.”she said.
“Yeah”………
The gisted for like ten minutes
before Omolayo stood up to go,
“Let me introduce you to my
friends over there.” she said
pointing to a group of 2 boys
and 4 girls gisting.
He stood up and followed her
towards the group. Immediately
they saw them approach they
stopped talking.
“Where have you been? One of
her friends jummy asked
Omolayo suspiciously.
Ignoring her question. “Meet my
cousin, Segun. Segun meet my
friends.” she introduced.
“Hi guys.” he greeted.
“Hi.” They chorused.
They all hung around till it was
1:30pm, 30minutes before the
next paper.
“Bro, i think we should get going
so, we won’t be late.” Omolayo
said.
“Alright, bye. Segun answered.
Omolayo left with four of her
friends remaining two who were
also in segun’s centre. Among
which was Jummy.
–to be continued–


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A man's favorite donkey falls into a deep precipice; He can't pull it out no matter how hard he tries; He therefore decides to bury it alive.

Soil is poured onto the donkey from above. The donkey feels the load, shakes it off, and steps on it; More soil is poured.

It shakes it off and steps up; The more the load was poured, the higher it rose; By noon, the donkey was grazing in green pastures.

After much shaking off (of problems) And stepping up (learning from them), One will graze in GREEN PASTURES.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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President Goodluck Jonathan will be honouring his wife, the first lady Dame Patience Jonathan with the award of GCFR (Grammar Commander of The Federal Republic). Sources said this is due to the immense contributions of the first lady to English Language in Nigeria. Another reason for this prestigious award is that the first lady has affected a lot of lives positively with her humorous speeches that make Nigerians laugh and forget their sorrows.This according to Mr. President has increased the life span of an average Nigerian. Example of her speeches include:* Nigeria is a great CONTINENT.* My husband and Sambo IS good people.* I rather KILL myself than commit SUICIDE.* My fellow widows.* I travelled to abroad to rest in peace.* My husband is the best couple on earth.* The doctors are responding to treatment.* For those who said I speech bad English, I left them for God. *Ojukwu is dead, but his Manhood still lives on.* Na only you waka come?* Chai! Chai!! Chai!!! diaris God o...Please support and honour Nigeria first lady by sharing with all your contacts! Don't Laugh alone please ... It’s time to laugh


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-01-15 22:42:24

333 Views



Right or Wrong [Read it]


If the woman is always right and a man is always wrong. Then if
a man tells a woman that she's right...
Is the man right or wrong?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-05-10 00:31:43

164 Views




If you wan eat for chicken republic without paying any dam FOLLOW THE PROCEDURE,first of all buy bottle water or pure water and tooth pick,secondly if e don reach time to sleep go sleep after dat dream say u go chicken republic order for anything u want eat anything eatable if u don chop belle full,just wakeup frm sleep drink d water and tooth pick ur teeth dats all.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-07 20:18:59

458 Views




Long time ago omopikin usually disturb his neighbour by pressing their door bell and run away till it got faulty and he press it and it shocked him and he decided that not only him was going to get the electric shock so he called his short friend to press the bell, he was not able to reach it so he him carried him up guess what happened?? Hmmm omopikin became short and his friend became teller with black faces


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-22 20:58:13

224 Views



Brain!!! [Read it]


Three University student didn't write
an exam because they did not study.
They came up with a plan, got
themselves dirty using grease then
went to see Mr. Akpos the Dean. "
Sir we are sorry we couldn't make it to
then exam. We attended a wedding
and on our way back the car broke
down thus we became so dirty as you
can see."
Akpos understood and gave them
three days to prepare.
After three days they went to the Dean
very ready for the exam because they
had studied. The Dean put them in
there separate classes. There were
only four questions in the exam paper:
1. Who and who got married? (25 mks)
2. Where was the reception held?
(25mks)
3. Where exactly did the car break
down? (25mks)
4. What type of car broke down?
(25mks)
Note: Your answers must be the same.
Good luck!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-25 20:16:51

504 Views



dreamer [Read it]


3days before val, dgirl wey i on don toast since last yr april called me...
Girl : Hey
Mc Deedon : am gud! U?
Girl : fine! guess what?
Mc Deedon : Am not gud @dat (4ma mind mayb she wan say yes)
Girl : okay! I dreamt bout u!
Mc Deedon : really?
Girl : u tuk Me out on val day... U bought me a goldnecklace n ring..
Mc Deedon : haaaaa!..
Girl : what wrong Baby?
Mc Deedon : u beta wake up!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-12 05:49:59

372 Views




DAY 2…

“No, no. You can’t do that, Sola” Festus replied shaking his head.

Her patience was wearing off fast. She heard the distant howl of a dog and the air was cool that night, thanks to the rain that just abated “Do you have a better plan, Festus?”

“You are suggesting I give my daughter’s hand in marriage to save my marriage?” he repeated uncertainly.

“I believe I spoke English” she shifted impatiently to look at him on the king size bed; his face was shadowed as he backed the moonlight that flooded lazily in to the room. “That is the only way out of this. If you sell it without that condition, how do we fend for ourselves after the money is spent, or would you like to work under someone with how far you’ve come in life?”

He shook his head grudgingly in agreement “I just don’t think Tayo would agree to that, his family too.”

“Leave that alone and set your mind at ease, I’m sure he would.”

He eyed her suspiciously, “You sound so confident. Have you done anything?”

“Anything like what?” she turned away from him feigning anger “Are you accusing me of…”

“I’m sorry”, Festus replied hastily

“Just try, there’s no harm in trying … after all, both of you are childhood friends and this kind of marriage is very well common in these parts. It’s not a death sentence.”

“Priscilla has her life; I don’t think we should be making such decisions for her”

Sola paused and looked at her husband very irritated “Why do you act weak? Do you want Imabong who is just 22?”

“No, no. I didn’t say that but…” he paused unsure of whether to speak, Festus looked away from her in shame. “Are you using this to punish me?”

Sola said nothing for a moment as her eyes flashed in recognition “What do you mean?”, she asked tongue in cheek.

“All those years …” Festus replied with a shaky breath. There was silence and a low ruffle of the bedspread; sola slowly turned to look at her husband as he knelt by the bedpost and as he faced her. She said nothing looking at him full of undisguised bitterness.

Festus looked at her, the moonlight framed his silhouette and her thin lips twisted ruefully; this was a man she had fallen love with those years ago. Now, she could not even bear to look into his haunted eyes. He did not look like Festus, he looked different. Like a desperate looking failure.

He reached out to touch her heavy hand, cold and yet soft. He knew her anger and felt her pain: a pain she had never voiced. Even with all she had done, he still loved this woman. With all the lies and betrayal, he still loved her. He placed her hand on the side of his cheek and wept into her palm like a child. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Sola’s hand stiffened. She did not want to feel sorry for this man. She wanted to punish him for everything; for the jealousy and the pain of living everyday with blasts from the past. She dragged her wet hand from his grasp and slid off the bed in silence.

“Would we ever talk about it?” Festus said weakly, “For 25 years, not a word Sola, not a word”, he repeated. “The guilt is killing me.”

She walked towards the window overlooking the midnight sky and leaned on it with her body casting a shadow across the bed. She looked at him speechless.

“I know you are doing this to punish me. But I can never understand why you didn’t give the child back.”

“Why would I?” Sola heard herself say in a dangerously low tone, “I would have run crazy pretending my husband was a saint. How do you think I feel staring at the face of your betrayal?”

Festus sighed in remorse and he got up to walk to her placing a hand tenderly on her arm, the moonlight poured on them both “I’m sorry Sola, if there was a way that I could go back and change these things I would” he let out a ragged breath. “I love you, Sola and I thank you for sticking with me after all these years.”

She looked at him as her mind was in rage: she wanted to scream and sob but her lips did not move. She thought she would feel gratified knowing she gave his daughter to a man she did not love. She wanted his daughter to suffer and gnash her teeth the same way she had when he brought the bastard into their home.

Finally she found the voice to speak looking straight into his eyes unweathering “Yes Festus, I’m doing this to punish you. To make you cry and wish she was never born. I’m doing this because I feel entitled to use something you shoved in my face after investing in her.” Her tone was flat and as dead as the night. “After everything, look at where we are now, we are still together even though what we have between us is sick.”

His hand reached out and struck her hard across the mouth. Sola flinched and her eyes watered in pain but she did not gratify him the pleasure of hearing her squeal in pain. This was how this marriage was; they hurt each other but they refused to give up. It was like a game where both of them were determined to outdo the other. It was a destructive feeling they shared and they knew that they feared each other: a twisted pair. A spurt of blood burst out of her bottom lip and they stared at each other.

Slowly he moved closer and brought his lips down to hers. She gave back what he asked her, Sola thought as she found herself on the bed as they tore at each other’s clothes: in the end she won, he would suffer for his daughter and the girl would suffer the way she had.

For the first time she wished the girl knew she was not her daughter. Her revenge would be complete.

***

Tayo knocked on the large brass door leading to Karen’s home on the first floor in the 6-block service flats and looked at the leather watch strapped round his wrist; it was barely 10 in the morning. She would be shocked seeing him looking to find his son. He knocked again determined to shake off his cold feet. The door opened, Karen wore loose slacks and an oversized t-shirt.

Shock registered on her bare face when she saw him.

“Chief” Karen’s voice was low in shock.

“Good morning”, he tried a reassuring smile that did not seem to work “Is Tunde home?” he added quickly.

Karen looked back and nodded at him stepping aside for him to come in. Tayo stepped for the first time inside her flat. The white walls contrasted with the colorful paintings in the spacious parlor. The morning sun brightened up the room as the windows and sliding door leading to the balcony was open with only a transparent curtain loosely drawn across each one.

Tunde stood by the balcony door just staring at his father full of disgust. He wore the same loose slacks with Karen without a shirt exposing his fine spanned chest. “What are you doing here?”

Tayo turned half way to look at Karen; he smiled reassuringly. “Could you please excuse us?”

She nodded moving out of the room and mumbling something inaudibly. Tayo turned back to look at Tunde “I came to see you. Can we sit? I have something important we need to discuss.” He sat down on the nearby dinning chair.

Tunde moved to the other side of the parlor, avoiding any close contact with his father. He kept his gaze leveled, not willing to show how much his father’s presence affected him. “What did you come here for?”

The older man cleared his throat and paused before he began. “It’s about 2 weeks ago.”

“What about it?”

“Please Tunde don’t play the ostrich. You know what happened” , Tayo rasped impatiently, but his son kept his gaze. “I came to apologize.”

“To me or to your wife?”

Tayo sighed, “Please don’t make this hard for me Tunde. I know it was wrong and you have every right to be disappointed.”

“I’m not disappointed dad, I’m disgusted.” Tunde folded his arms across his broad chest not taking his eyes off his father. He let of a scoff. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Come on dad, you didn’t come for just that. If you’re really sorry, you should be apologizing to mum and not me. Besides, I’m not the one you cheated on.”

Tayo hung his almost grey head for the moment, letting Tunde’s words sink in. “I’m sorry, it was a moment of weakness Tunde. Can’t we just forge ahead and not dwell on it?”

“I’m disappointed in you, dad. If anyone had ever said you would do that, I would have disagreed. This is something I can’t even understand because there’s nothing in that woman that you would cheat on your wife for”, Tunde said trying to calm his anger. “What brought you here dad? Let’s make this quick for both of us”, he said with his tone withdrawn.

“I need your help Tunde”, Tayo shifted on the chair in desperation. He closed his eyes for a second. “What I’m about to say is for the good of everyone. I know it’s my mistake but it’s the only way peace can rein in our family.”

“Cut to the chase dad”, Tunde interrupted impatiently. His father got up and walked to where he stood as if stoic; they stood eye to eye in the parlor.

“Sola is threatening to expose everything”, Tayo replied cautiously watching his son and Tunde carefully moved a safe distance from him his heart slowly increasing its pace

“That’s your problem; it has nothing to do with us.”

“If she talks it’s our problem. I love my family,” He saw his son’s expression falter at his statement but he continued. “Believe me I do, even though I have made mistakes I’m not proud of Tunde and I’m sure we don’t want this family separated.”

“You still haven’t said what this has to do with me” Tunde replied tongue in cheek.

“She wants us to buy her husband’s company and send 20% of the profits from whatever the company yields to us in future each month to her.”

In spite of himself, Tunde laughed for the first time.”That’s outrageous! Does she know what she is saying at all? Geez dad, this is what you get for being unfaithful to a loving wife. Mrs Irumogbe is clearly not ready to accept that her husband’s business is in the loop and you have given her a reason to believe there’s hope because of your greed.”

“Tunde…”

“Please leave, this has nothing to do with me, but because I love my mother, I’ll choose to keep this between us but that’s the best I can do so go and sort out your mess and leave me alone.”

Tayo said nothing for a moment; he slid his hands in his pocket as he did whenever his pride faltered. He had thought of it clearly, played and replayed it in his mind of how his son would react and he knew in the end, he would win. He was Tunde’s father, Chief Ariyo. He would rather settle for that devil of a woman’s scores than to hang his head in shame because of the mistakes he made.

“Tunde she isn’t settling for just that, that’s why I need your help desperately.”

“What is this?” Tunde asked getting frustrated whilst ignoring the panic that seemed to begin rearing its ugly head for no reason yet. “Is this some kind of mind game? Tell me what it is you came for, I have to enjoy the rest of my morning!”

“Sola has requested for a union between you and her first daughter, she says the union will make the contract more enforceable ” Tayo’s voice was grim.

“Union?” Tunde repeated slowly letting the full import of his father’s words dawn on him. He began to shake his head in disagreement. “No, are you suggesting I marry her daughter?”, he looked at his father in shock

“She’s suggesting that. I suggest you look out for the family’s interest.”

“Your interest you mean?!”, he stared at his father in ice burning hatred “Your selfish interest you mean?!” Tunde said again, “I should bear the brunt of your foolishness because you are too much of a coward to tell the truth!”

“Don’t speak that way to me Tunde. No matter how ugly things get I’m still your father!” Tayo remarked in a thinly controlled voice, he looked at his son with his face stoic.

“You are despicable, really you are. I should marry someone I have never met to cover up your mistakes,” he laughed in disbelief “I can’t believe this is happening. Please leave” he walked unsteadily to the door opening it for the stranger that was his father.

“Tunde, I came to tell you this because I needed your help. You know I bend for no one,” he said walking towards the door cautiously.

“I am almost thirty”, Tunde replied unsteadily. “Almost 30 and you come in here casually telling me to marry someone: the daughter of someone you’ve been having sex with, don’t let me disrespect you.”

Tayo stopped by the door, his hands still in his pockets though he felt more in control. “It’s not a request, Tunde.” He looked into the brown pools of his son’s eyes with his tone flat. “This is for our family, not for me or you but for our family.”

“If you really cared about the family, we wouldn’t be this kind of a discussion in the first place,” Tunde replied through clenched teeth as his body shook in anger. “I placed you in high esteem and I decided to keep this between us. Don’t tempt me to tell on you.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Don’t dare me, dad”, Tunde replied with his voice cold. “I can’t believe you would agree to cheap blackmail because of your cowardice.”

He clenched his hands in his pockets, his lips thinned at what Tunde said. “Don’t tempt me also, if you value your position as the next president of Ariyo Enterprises. ” His son’s expression changed at the silent threat.

“Is that a threat, dad?”

“It depends on the way you choose to see it. I’m trying to do this for us and I wanted you to be cooperative but if it means changing my will, I will. I won’t have my son betray me.” He stepped out of the flat into the cold exterior hearing the door slam shut with more force than required.

He hadn’t even realized it rained. Tayo picked up his phone scrolling down the contact list to Sola’s number. He paused for a daring second and slipped the phone down into his pocket walking down the narrow stairway.

***

DAY 3…

Tunde entered the dingy bar. The place was already half filled with tables for four and a long L-shaped chair, he scanned the fair crowd for Mrs Irumogbe and he sighted her immediately. Tayo walked further inside the bar, the smell of liquor and smoke filled his nostrils as he walked to where she sat smiling.

He would have loved to wipe the smile off her face, the woman was crazy. “Good morning Mrs Irumogbe.”

“Please call me Sola”, she replied coolly “I see you left the office?”

He nodded not willing to speak much; he sat down on the hard wooden chair opposite the small round table.

“You want a drink? I’ve had mine while I waited.”

She was pathetic at being courteous; the atmosphere suddenly grew tense as they sat without. Tunde stood still for a moment, he sat down again his mind was in a frenzy. He would hear screaming in his head, the paranoia of reality crept slowly behind him. He thought of Karen: the woman he loved, his mother, his sister. What exactly was the right decision? He wondered to himself, not saying anything for a moment with only the sound of slow music playing from the jukebox far across the large room.

“I assume you know why I called you”, Tunde began unbuttoning his jacket; he stared directly into her eyes leaving no room for intimidation.

“I can only imagine”, Sola replied vehemently. She set the ball rolling as she eyed the young man under her heavy eyelashes. He could smell the scent of her strong perfume, which seemed to fuel her arrogant confidence. Sola smiled inwardly to herself.

“Tayo must have told you the good news”, she rested heavily on the word.

“We can hardly call it that”, he replied through tight lips. “Mrs Irumogbe, perhaps my father was not clear on your message.”

“He was very clear my dear and I suggest we quickly find a solution to our problem.”

He raised his eyebrows at the statement. “I cannot marry your daughter and I don’t know whatever hold you have on my father, but I suggest you sever all ties to me or any other member of the family.”

“You have no respect”, she replied slowly looking at him icily.

“Do you, neither for yourself or anyone else for that matter?”, he asked as he met her stare.

“I came here to appeal to you…no, tell you that I intend to meet you squarely if you decide on harming anyone from our family. How do we know that this is only among the three of us?”

Sola said nothing for a minute swallowing his threat, “Are you sure of that? You are playing with fire. Don’t get involved in things ahead of you”, she paused. “This is between your father and I, it’s a pity you were dragged in too. I assure you that no one else knows of this except you decide to do just that.” He read her meaning as she smiled a bit. “I’m not afraid of scandals my dear boy. I have lived over half of my life in a scandal or two from my husband and we have not been separated at any time.”

“I’m already involved!”, he cried in frustration. “The moment my name was mentioned, I was involved.” He paused for a moment fighting for control. “I have a girl I want to marry; we live together, set your sights on someone else.”

Sola sat still watching him as an eagle watches its prey, he reminded her of her own youthful days. Her energy and her hopes, perhaps: she mused to herself; she would like him in future when things worked out her way. “You think I would stand by and watch while my husband’s business crumbles in your father’s hands? You are smart and you are energetic but you fail to see what is right under your nose.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Sola gathered her leather handbag and brought out a flash drive and slid it across the table. “Give this to your father; he knows what needs to be done.” With that, she got up and he followed as they stared coldly at each other. “Play your part and everyone will win; it rests on you now, Tunde.”

“Mrs Irumogbe, I suggest you look elsewhere for an easy prey. I thought we could get something out of this meeting but you’re not ready to be civil” Tunde retorted as he buttoned his jacket.

“I’m not a woman known to make idle threats; your father knows that very well.” Sola slid the chair back and walked outside the confines of the small table. “I gave your father till today to make a choice, choose wisely. I hope you do.” With that, she walked away from him towards the entrance door, leaving his anger to bounce off her back.

To Be continued

Pls don't deny me ur comment.

>>

ONE WRONG TURN
Episode 37

Hannah handed me a piece of
paper, it had something wrapped
inside it. I unwrapped it slowly,
wondering what it was. I poured
its content into my palm, and
looked at Hannah in amazement.
“What is this?” I asked, facing
Hannah with a surprise look on
my face
“Its a tablet, you should know it,
your mum is a nurse” Hannah
replied
“So why do I need the tablet?”
“it will prevent you from getting
pregnant ”
As i turned away from Hannah,
the enormity of what i had done
began to sink in. I could get
pregnant from all the activities of
the previous night. In fact my
whole life could change.
I threw the tablets down my
throat and swallowed It. I prayed
silently that It worked.
We walked slowly into the
classroom, to continue the day’s
learning. I had started finding
school very boring. I spent most
of my time in the classroom
secretly chatting with Ehis.
It seemed As though he had
completely taken over my life. All
that I could look forward to was
sneaking out to meet him. I
wondered if i was still normal.
The bell signaling the beginning
of the last lecture before break
rang. it was time to abscond from
school again, Hannah and Ruth
clutched to their school bags and
headed out of the classroom.
I had made up my mind not to
follow them. First, i had no idea
where they were going, and I
already had plans with Ehis later
in the day. I felt I should let them
do their own business.
Few seconds after leaving The
classroom, Hannah returned and
beckoned on me. I got up, and
followed them to The rendezvous
point, The gatehouse.
I stood aloof as Hannah and Ruth
changed clothes.
“ain’t you going with us? ” Ruth
asked,
“no, i have plans with Ehis later” i
replied
“who is talking about Ehis ? Some
of my friends just returned from
Malaysia, they are taking us out.
we ll just keep them company
thats all. ” Hannah cut in ,
obviously trying to persuade me
I thought about it for a while, it
didn’t sound like a bad offer, but i
wasn’t very comfortable with it.
After the events of the other day, i
had decided to be more discrete.
I had a really bad feeling about
the whole trip, but i had to give in
to Hannah ‘s persuation. She really
wanted me to go, and i couldn’t
lets her down, not after all She
had done for me.
I dashed to the classroom to get
my bag, my getaway clothes were
in there. I returned almost
immediately, holding on to my
school bag. Hannah and Ruth
were already fully dressed.
I quickly changed into my new
attire, it was a pink top with a
tight fitting skirt that barely
covered my knees. I sat down to
allow ruth make me up, while
Hannah went outside to recieve a
call.
“they are waiting outside please
hurry ” hannah announced, as she
rushed inside to pick up her purse.
Ruth applied the make up
hurriedly, without paying
attention to details as she would
usually do. We grabbed our hand
bags, handed the gate man his
usual fees and walked out of the
school.
Just outside the school fence, a
car parked beside the road. It had
no plate number, it was obviously
new. I had never see that brand of
car before. Who ever owned this
must be very rich i said to myself.
Hannah led us towards the parked
car. The rear door opened as we
approached. A lavishly dressed
young man, probably in his mid
twenties alighted and held the
door open for us.
Hannah galloped towards him and
threw herself at him in a hug. He
held her closely to himself and
kissed her lips. Ruth greeted him,
and extended a hand to him. He
took ruth’s hand in his and kissed
the back of her palm.
I was a little disgusted by the
entire public display, i merely
greeted him without going close. I
opened the front door and took
my seat beside the driver.
Ruth and Hannah sat at the back.
There were three boys seated
inside the car, the driver beside
me and two others behind. They
all looked over dressed and
irresponsibe, while trying to speak
in a foreign accent.
Hannah introduced the three boys.
There was mesode the driver, Aj
the guy Hannah hugged and the
rather quiet looking Ramsey
seated along side Aj at the back.
As we embarked on our journey i
would steal occasional glances at
the rear view mirror, to observe
what was hapenin behind. Hannah
and Aj were kissing lustfully, while
ruth was struggling to get Ramsey
to keep his hands off her. It
seemed she too was
uncomfortable with the boys.
Mesode tried to engage me in
small talk as he drove along. My
short and pointed responses killed
almost all his attempts. He would
turn side ways from time to time
to steal a glance at me, and lick
his lips afterwards. I almost felt
like a LovePeddler. The
LovePeddler scenario did not feel
right.
My phone beeped, it was a
message from Ehis.
“baby, can i pick you up during
break? Want us to hang out with
some friends”
I felt a little regret as i read the
message over and over again. If i
hadn’t listened to Hannah , i
would have had alot of time to
spend with the man i love, i
thought to myself.


>>

A man writing in his diary:

Shaadi se pehle bhagwaan se duaa maangi thi ki achha PAKANE wali biwi dena.


Saala, ‘khana’ mention karna hi bhool gaya!
??????????Related

**my friend akpos had no job and also no food to feed on for days,one day he was walking past an estate when he saw a bag,he opened the bag,lo and behold it was loaded with money and an I'd written Mr.emeka emmanuel..akpos quickly picked up his phone and contacted a radio station..AKPOS:hello is this 95.5 royal fm??..PRESENTER:yes..welcome to the show how may I help u??..AKPOS:I was walking down an estate,and I saw a bag of money with an I'd written Mr.emeka emmanuel..PRESENTER:wow,are honest people still in nigeria??..well I'm hoping u want to return it back??..AKPOS:I dey mad??..return watin??..I just want make u help me play am(mr.emeka)"u saved me" by r.kelly...one word for akpos..??







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-11 00:57:26

467 Views



the naked woman [Read it]


pls is Okon wrong?
A naked lady ran into Okon's taxi. She told the driver where
she was going. Okon didn't start the car but he was just
starring at the woman over and over again.
The lady looked at him and said, "what's your problem man?
Haven't you seen a naked lady before?" Okon replied "I am
not looking at your nakedness, I was just wondering where
you kept the money you are going to pay me."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-23 14:02:32

396 Views




I just wanted you to know… just getting to be around you was the best thing that ever happened to me.

~ DriveRelated

Continues…

Presley:please guys stop all these. You can take
your
love triangle elsewhere. Preston you brought
laura
into this house, I didn’t complain at all. So
please I will appreciate it if you don’t complain in my
bringing Milly and miranda here. All is in my
treat. We won’t bother
both of you. And we can achieve this if you stop
calling her a s--t. We all know that you started it
with her.
Preston was speechless. He stood up and left the
sitting room heading for his room so did the toy
Me:thanks a lot presley. It seems he is afraid of
you
Presley:he knows what we’ve been through Me:hmmmm. Its 7pm already. Today was a
stressful
one
Presley:you are really strong. You survived a
gunshot
in three days not all girls can do that some even die in the process
Me:I guess. Where will I be sleeping
Presley:the room opposite Preston’s. Don’t
worry
everything’s inside
Mekay. Thank you so much. Goodnight Miranda:are you sure you don’t need help?you
are wounded
Me:never mind I will survive
Mirandashe wasaughing because prestley was
tinkling her their love play have started again).
I went inside the room and Locked the door. I arranged everything that belonged to me in the
room. I took my bath still with my bandage on. I
called to
check up on everyone and there were good
except
for miranda who was busy having her usual and normal meal from Presley.
I slept like a baby that night and woke up early
the
next morning. As soon as I woke up, I had this
eagerness to open my door which I did. As I
opened my door I saw preston walking out out his room
and
stopped on seeing me. On seeing him I eyed him
and
hissed then flung my hair and went inside my
room locking the door. I could see want and love in his
eyes.
At least k felt happy making him like that. I
won’t let anybody step on me now not even
that foreign tiny
tweeny brat. I got dressed up first so I went to the sitting room
to
wait for miranda. Looking at the sofas in the
sittingroom,I remembered preston and thought
of his
first attempt of wanting to s-x me and later he told me if was because of Brenden. I couldn’t
help the
tears dropping from my eyes freely. I still loved
him I
knew he was doing the wrong thing but I still felt
there was something behind this relationship with
that laura. Something about connection. I was
still
thinking until miranda interrupted me
Miranda:babes how far?
Me:I am fine (I finally understood pidgin) Miranda:why the tears na?you want to make me
cry o
Me:its okay. I just thought of something
Mirandakay o. Are you ready? Because I am
ready
for class o or you are not going? Mef course I will. I have been waiting for you to
come out from that room
Mirandaya let’s go…

To be continued


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpos: Bastard how far?
Ekene: Madman I position! How that your drunk
old man?
Akpos: hahaha! Him dey... What of your imbecile
brother?
Ekene: hahahaha! Fool everybody dey... You dey house? I dey come charge phone for your house.
Akpos: Ok! No wahala, bring money come make we
drink beer.
Ekene: Idiot like you. Later now! #2b contd¤woch out for episode 3 by AoNomolos
#AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-10-21 12:38:41

676 Views



Money [Read it]


The way you deal with money, reflect the way you
deal with power.....like a study have it that....If you
miss it in the area of money, you'd miss it in every
other areas, because money can bring out the best
and the worst in you.#JustSaying #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-11-25 23:23:21

279 Views




I soon regained myself to see two female police officers and Nancy by my side. Detective Jeremiah stood a distance away, watching me with great interest.

“hope you have eaten today?” one of the female officers asked me.

“yea” i nodded, breathing heavily.

“you have to get a grip of yourself if you ever want to win this case. You got to be strong. Esther Hardey will be here in few minutes for questioning” the Detective said to me.

“please i want to be present when she’s being questioned. I want to see her face” i begged weakly.

“no i can’t do that, i have already broken a lot of protocols for you” he answered quickly.

“I beg of you. Remember we are talking about my husband’s murder. Help a widow” i pushed passionately. He breathed deeply and shrugged.

“i hope i don’t get fired for all i’m doing for you. Well you have to freshen up first, secondly you must promise not to say a word to the lady when you meet her” he said seriously.

“oh yes, i promise not to say a word” i answered, while he smiled and left.

“the detective is a wonderful man. He will help you out” the second female cop said to me, nodding with a smile.
_______

After freshening up in one of the bathrooms, i was led to the detective’s office, where i sat and waited for the so called Esther Hardey to show up.
She showed up precisely ten minutes later with the same annoying white lawyer who threatened my brother. They all stared at me with surprise as they walked into the detective’s office.

“what is this murderer doing here?” the lawyer asked with anger. Detective Jeremiah smiled and shook his head.

“As a lawyer, you should know that no suspect is guilty until a court of law gives verdict. She’s a suspect just like the lady that brought you along” he answered the Lawyer who bit his lips angrily.

“i’m taking none of this s--t any longer. If you can’t do your job, better resign. My clients are tired of being detained in this country for no justifiable reason. They all want to go home and i give you two days to make it happen, else the fury of the American government will be on the whole Nigerian police force. You can’t just keep everyone hostage” he threatened.

“oh i see you are representing all the Americans involved in this case, but i feel that will change soon” the detective added quietly.
“what if i tell you, i have enough evidence to throw one of your clients in the cell right now?” he pushed on.

“Esther Hardey, she was at the house when the crime was committed. She was Damian’s fiancee, am i wrong?” he asked the lawyer who kept quiet.
“Esther had the motive and mindset to commit such murder and according to test results we have so far, she was physically present in one of the crime scenes which invariably places her in a bad position. I pin the murder charge on her. Phewwww case closed. I get promoted” The detective concluded with a smile, while the lawyer instantly grew tense and stared at Esther with a coloured face.

Of course the detective had nothing strong to pin down the lady, but as a good officer he pulled a fast one on the white lawyer who for the first time looked beaten. It was time to prove how good a lawyer he was….
I prayed silently. I prayed for the detective’s stunt to work.

“your client should use this opportunity to come out clean or Damian’s mother won’t like what i plan telling her” the detective pushed on, while Esther coloured up. It was obvious she was hiding something
“oh Lord, make her to confess” i prayed

>> Part 11 -

Aki and paw...those guys are soo short,when they went to the studio to take a "passport"shot,u won't belief their two leg was still showing


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-12-19 08:57:37

254 Views




Episode 18

I couldn’t look at him in the eyes the following day. After preparing breakfast i went straight into my room without eating. It was a Saturday morning and i had to go to the house, in preparation for the birthday party. I came back from the room and realised his food want touched. After another fifteen minutes of waiting, the food was still untouched and i cant eat either. I gathered courage and walked to his door. I gave it a knock and he asked me to enter. “its nothing serious, your food it ready” i said without opening. “thanks im not hungry i heard him say. His voice didn’t sound the same. It wasn’t his normal tone, i cant explain it but that was my first time hearing him in that manner. I pushed the door slowly and saw him lying on the bed. I saw his back when i opened the door. “whats wrong?k i asked calmly. “nothing miss” he answered without turning. Miss? Did he just call me miss? I smiled to myself and clashed the door behind me. I left to my parents place without informing him. He offended me by calling me miss, was that what i meant to him? Just a miss? My parents and i spoke about the birthday party, how to go about it and everything. I didn’t tell them what Hanson did and i don’t know why so don’t ask. ” its going to be a grand party my dear, remember you are about be a graduate soon.” Blablabla my mum kept on talking. The engineer wasn’t around when i got home? But what do i care? Fo almost a whole week we never said anything to each other. I had one more day to get prepared fo the party of the year. I went for shopping with my girl friends whiles my mum and dad took care of the setting.
I came back ve late that night and had to be in the Hagan house that same night. The engineer was watching Tele when i got there but he eventually left the scene when he saw me. He is part of my life now and i cant neglect him nor forsake him. But to my surprise, i saw so many gifts when i gazed at the centre table. I got my eyes widely open when i saw them. Some of the present came from my course mates and other friends on campus but there was this particular one, yes a particular gift, it was an unknown person who presented it. But it was a white gown but i forgot to ask the engineer about it. I went to him later on with my school bag behind me. Yes i went to the shopping with a student bag. I had to, i just had to. I didn’t want my friends to know that i was shopping for him so i had to use the student bag. The bag contained everything he will be needing for the occasion, including an Iphone. “here” i stretched forth the bag which he reluctantly received.
I was walking away after that but i stood still and turned to apologise to him, for behaving weird after the kiss. “its okay, he responded calmly” i walked to him and gave him a kiss on the chick. “aw before i forget, you will be at the high table with me tomorrow” i said to him. ” i don’t think i will be coming” he responded and turned away. “why?” i asked. “nothing” he said. ” what do you mean by you aren’t coming, its my 25th anniversary for crying out loud!” i couldn’t say much, i just dashed out of the room. The follow day was a busy day at the Hagan house. My friends came around very early, food and drinks were rashing in each and every moment. The whole room was decorated pink and black with white flowers at each point. The pink represents the ladies colour of dressing and the black represents the men suits. Whiles the white represents my gown. It was like that till 7pm when the party started.

>>

Friends and Medicines play a similar role in our lives.

Both take care of us in pain… but the only difference is – Friendship does not have an expiry date!Related

d man above [Read it]


a pastor nd a member were havin s#x under a tree wer a smoker was ontop after d s#x, d member den ask d pastor wat if i get pregnant? d pastor replied lets leave one above dat is when d man jumped down if u were d one wad would u do?


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-10 19:26:39

294 Views




JUDGE: Gentleman, are u guilty or not guilty?

Akpos: My Lord, I’m not guilty

JUDGE: How come u were arrested and brought before the court for stealing a goat?

Akpos: My Lord, I was just passing by Mr. Darlington's house and I saw a very big Goat tied to a tree. I said to myself, "maybe the Goat is trying to commit suicide," so I rescue d goat


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-09-28 20:28:39

286 Views




A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: ”How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

May God Help!!!


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Taxi Driver [Read it]


A boy was coming from school, n he started singing a song in d taxi. "If my Dad is a Cock n my Mum is Hen, I'll b a Chicken. If my Dad is a King n my Mum is a Queen I'll b a Prince. D Driver was angry with d song, he look at d boy n said "What if ur Dad is an armed robber n ur Mum is ashawo what will u b? D boy said I'll b a taxi driver........ Then d driver kept silent n drive slowly.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-26 06:56:17

605 Views



HELLO BOSS [Read it]


AKPOS: Hello Boss! I will be unable to
come to work tomorrow due to heavy
rain. BOSS: In your job application, you
mentioned swimming as your hobby.
See you at work 7am tomorrow!
#BOLLY_SMART™®


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-04-05 22:48:31

285 Views




Lola: daddy how are you doing?
Joab: i'm good
Isabella: dad are you sure you are fine
Joab: what kind of a stupid question is that? i am in prison with criminals and there you are asking if i am okay. how will i be fine; when every passing night; i am been festive upon by mosquito and the sun kept heating me up to produce sweat and heat me up to dry them up always and when those wicked wanders keep flogging me as if i'm a slave and here i eat beans that is not soft once a day. tell me do you want to exchange place with me? stupid girl
Katherina: dad calm down
Isabella: dont worry dad; we will get a lawyer for you
Joab: will you keep quiet; go get it for me and stop telling me; you will
Zippor: but dad; it is expensive to get one
Joab: then of what used are you Isabella
Isabella: dont worry dad; my name had been shortlisted so we will raise money for it and i can also apply as a librarian in my school; so i can help
Joab: i dont care how you get it; get out; go; leave
Isabella: dad; you havent eaten your food
Joab: do you think food is my problem (he held her hand)
Katherina: dad; stop pulling your frustration on others; if you think you are the only one going through this hard time then you are mistaken; you put us all into this; dont just blame others for your predicament; you should be happy that we are still here to visit you. excuse me. come on lets go
Joab: you are leaving
Katherina: yes; that is your food; if you want to eat it, it's there, if you don't, you can as well through it away (exit Zippor/ Isabel Katherina)
Joab: nonsense; bullshit (he hit the wall)
Warder: hey young man respect yourself
Joab: sorry sir (curtain)
Mercy: Zuriel; eat something
Zuriel: i dont wat to; i want my mummy
Obedient: go on eat up; you will fall sick if you dont eat
Zuriel: i dont want to eat; i want to die
Mercy: please dont, your mom will not be happy
Zuriel: mom doesnt love me any more; so if i die she will be happy
Zeal: what is wrong?
Mercy: sir; he doesnt want to eat
Zeal: son why dont you want to eat
Zuriel: i want to die
Zeal: dont you love me any more; dont you want to see mom again
Zuriel: i dont want to; i dont like her
Zeal: is okay; eat up
Zuriel: i dont want to eat; i want to go (he ran out)
Zeal: come back here
Mercy: sorry sir
Zeal: is alright
Obedient: he will be fine dad
Zeal: i know and you how is school
Obedient: fine daddy
Zeal: please promise me that you will always love your brother; promise
Obedient: i promise
Zeal: thank you son
Alice: darling
Zeal: what? and why is Ada with you
Alice: relax; can she please stay here for a while
Zeal: is okay; if that is what you want
Alice: thank you darling
Zeal: is okay; i go ahead
Alice: baby go inside and rest
Ada: thank you ma (curtain)
LOLA: Isabella: lets go home
Isabella: go ahead; i still have to go to the studio and as from on monday we wouldnt be going home together
Lola: why?
Isabella: i have been employed as a librarian and after that i will go to teacher Truth's house to take care of her compound
Lola: do you want to stress yourself to death
Isabella: no, i want to help dad out
Lola: Katherina is working
Isabella: i know but she still have to go back to school, we still have to pay bills; get clothed and feed also. have you forgotten
Lola: i havent and grandma is still alive
Isabella: dont worry go on; i will be fine
Lola: if you say so
Isabella: yes i did
Lola: take care; love you
Isabella: love you too (exit Lola) good afternoon sir
Edwin: you are here
Isabella: yes sir
Edwin: everything will be given to you
Isabella: alright sir
Edwin: go ahead (exit Edwin)


the struggle of life doesnt ends when you get a job but it is just a step;Isabella and Zuriel both experience challenges of life but they both have a way of reacting but lets see how they both help each each other without knowing

Dedo: why are you not downstair
Zuriel: i dont feel like
Dedo: why
Zuriel: is because i dont just feel like
Ada: please, come downstairs; mom said; 'you should come downstairs'
Zuriel: i said i dont want to eat (enter Alice) get out
Alice: son please come and eat
Zuriel: i am not your son; go away, i want my mummy, go away
Alice: eat up, you havent eaten since last night
Zuriel: i dont want to
Alice: your mom will not be happy if she find out that you didn't eat and she will be so mad at me
Zuriel: since when did you care; are you not happy that she left ?you are and please stop pretending. i hate you
Alice: what? why hate me instead of your mom that left you
Zuriel: yes i hate you and her
Dedo: Zuriel, that is your stepmother you are talking to
Zuriel: i don't care
Ada: what do you mean?
Alice: is okay, i understand let him; come on leave him alone
Dedo: you are getting too rude (she put on the television)
Zuriel: why did you put it on?
Dedo: if you dont want watch then close your eyes
Zuriel: dont provoke me (he walked towards the television)
Dedo: hold on it almost time for my program
Isabella: hello everyone; is your girl Isabella Clara and you are watching your favorite television show FAMILY
Dedo: oh no i was thinking it was my program; you can off it
Isabella: family is the most important thing in our life and not just in our life but in our nation and state even though is the most smallest unit
Dedo: dont you want to switch it off
Zuriel: don't answer
Isabella: today we'll be talking about MOTHER
Dedo: whoa
Isabella: what is mother? in this show you talk i talk; meaning you can call or sent text in order to participate. we just receive our first message of today; from Faith; she said, 'a mother is someone who take care of her child; provide food and always make sure that the kids are doing fine and not just a mother to her kids but also to her family' whoa; you must really love your mother; your mother must be very grateful to you. someone; just said; 'a mother is everything; a teacher;an adviser;a bodyguard;a doctor; a psychology;a cook; a cleaner;all in one' that means a mother is a superman,i'm so happy that am a woman,so that someone one can say that to me someday, i know this will interest you all,someone texted what if your mother doesnt have this qualities, what if she left you you in the cold, when you needed her. oh my heart skip. i don't think any mother will do that but if she does. what does that mean? does it mean she doesnt love us any more? please i need comment from my fans. what is going on? no comment
Dedo: Zuriel; can we go outside
Zuriel: no i dont want to; if you want you can go
Dedo: then lets change it to something else
Zuriel: i dont want to, just want to see how she will defend mothers now
Dedo: are you sure
Zuriel: yes
Isabella: you all shouldnt leave me in the cool likewise; like some cruel mother. please otherwise i am not going to forgive you all; i am just kidding; i know you all will not leave me alone in this situation and i will not stay mad at you all;i just got a message from Mom's boy, whoa, he said;'if my mom abandon me in the cold; i wouldnt be mad at her for long if she give me genuine reason why she left me' i think i buy that; i shouldnt jump to conclusion yet. message from Joy, i will never forgive her because she is not worthy to be called a mother. oh mind; dear; i am sorry; dont you think you are rather too hard. you are a woman you know. anyway; there is no time from sentiment, if one get too sentiment it becomes bad, for me i will hear her out and forgive her even if her reason make no sense to at first; maybe someday as time goes on i will understand why she have to do it and like it was said; that mothers are protector and selfless that is why they are ready to give anything even if it hurt them to do; sometime they still have to do it right to the very last day of their breath; they still want the best for us and that is what mother do for love and not for anything else. so this is where we come to the end of a cross road for today but that doesnt mean the end but know this we will meet next time, same place; same time; same channel, watch your favorite television show FAMILY
Zuriel: its interesting; don't you like it
Dedo: i don't; is not interesting
Zuriel: what did you know?
Dedo: nothing;just be sincere you like her and not the program
Zuriel: whatever you feel like saying, you can as well say it
Dedo: is that how you talk to me now? don't worry i wouldn't cry
Zuriel: is okay,dont be ridiculous, please dont cry
Dedo: i wouldnt because of you;come on lets go to Ada and Obedient
Zuriel: alright; after you




read more later.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Joke by Dindy [Read it]


JOKE BY DINDY
Boy:please can I see your pix?
Girl:kk
.
.
Picture sent??
.
.
Picture received??
.
.
Boy:wow you look beautiful....you look so 24....how old are you?
Girl:I am 18
Boy:huh?.....i said your age not your junior sister's age.........lol
#DINDY WROTE THIS=> facebook username: Ossy Andy Nnamdi



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-08-30 21:20:43

416 Views




ReserveHandler is a booking software for hotels developed by cazBit Software in Abuja. We are looking for dedicated people that wants to grow with us. Your location does not matter. If you are interest visit ->

Akpors baba [Read it]


A class teacher in naija dey
instructs his students 2 each
stand up and make a short poem
about thier name and what
they’d like 2 do in future.
The first to start is Usman, ha
said..
USMAN; my name is usman
I will grow up and be a man
I will like to go to japan
if I can, if I can
The 2nd student is a girl named
Candy, she said..
CANDY; my name is candy
I will grow up and be a lady
and i will like 2 have a baby
if i can, if i can
and finally there is Akpos, the
original naija guyg, he said..
Akpos; my name is Akpos
I will grow up 2 be a man
to hell with japan
am going to help candy with her plan


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-04 23:43:31

271 Views




1 day akpors d police man went into an
incompleted building nd saw 3 guys smokin.
Then he asked them wat do they gain from
smokin herm. D 1st tuk it nd said
inspiration. D second said admiration. D 3rd
said in our nation. Then akpors tuk it
nd said. Everybody to the station


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-05 23:40:47

278 Views



Littli Johnny [Read it]


One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what “bitch” and “bastard” mean. They explained that they mean “lady” and “gentleman.”The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what “pen*s” and “vagina” mean. His parents explained that they refer to “hats” and “coats.”At supper the next day, Little Johnny’s mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled,”Oh fuck!” Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means “cut.”A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, “Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas — we can’t wait to fuck the turkey!”


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-16 11:03:55

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Chapter 1
When the vicar's wife went off with a young and penniless man the scandal knew no bounds. Her two little girls were only seven and nine years old respectively. And the vicar was such a good husband. True, his hair was grey. But his moustache was dark, he was handsome, and still full of furtive passion for his unrestrained and beautiful wife.
Why did she go? Why did she burst away with such an éclat of revulsion, like a touch of madness?
Nobody gave any answer. Only the pious said she was a bad woman. While some of the good women kept silent. They knew.
The two little girls never knew. Wounded, they decided that it was because their mother found them negligible.
The ill wind that blows nobody any good swept away the vicarage family on its blast. Then lo and behold! the vicar, who was somewhat distinguished as an essayist and a controversialist, and whose case had aroused sympathy among the bookish men, received the living of Papplewick. The Lord had tempered the wind of misfortune with a rectorate in the north country.
The rectory was a rather ugly stone house down by the river Papple, before you come into the village. Further on, beyond where the road crosses the stream, were the big old stone cotton-mills, once driven by water. The road curved uphill, into the bleak stone streets of the village.
The vicarage family received decided modification, upon its transference into the rectory. The vicar, now the rector, fetched up his old mother and his sister, and a brother from the city. The two little girls had a very different milieu from the old home.
The rector was now forty-seven years old, he had displayed an intense and not very dignified grief after the flight of his wife. Sympathetic ladies had stayed him from suicide. His hair was almost white, and he had a wild-eyed, tragic look. You had only to look at him, to know how dreadful it all was, and how he had been wronged.
Yet somewhere there was a false note. And some of the ladies, who had sympathised most profoundly with the vicar, secretly rather disliked the rector. There was a certain furtive self- righteousness about him, when all was said and done.
The little girls, of course, in the vague way of children, accepted the family verdict. Granny, who was over seventy and whose sight was failing, became the central figure in the house. Aunt Cissie, who was over forty, pale, pious, and gnawed by an inward worm, kept house. Uncle Fred, a stingy and grey-faced man of forty, who just lived dingily for himself, went into town every day. And the rector, of course, was the most important person, after Granny.
They called her The Mater. She was one of those physically vulgar, clever old bodies who had got her own way all her life by buttering the weaknesses of her men-folk. Very quickly she took her cue. The rector still "loved" his delinquent wife, and would "love her" till he died. Therefore hush! The rector's feeling was sacred. In his heart was enshrined the pure girl he had wedded and worshipped.
Out in the evil world, at the same time, there wandered a disreputable woman who had betrayed the rector and abandoned his little children. She was now yoked to a young and despicable man, who no doubt would bring her the degradation she deserved. Let this be clearly understood, and then hush! For in the pure loftiness of the rector's heart still bloomed the pure white snowflower of his young bride. This white snowflower did not wither. That other creature, who had gone off with that despicable young man, was none of his affair.
The Mater, who had been somewhat diminished and insignificant as a widow in a small house, now climbed into the chief arm-chair in the rectory, and planted her old bulk firmly again. She was not going to be dethroned. Astutely she gave a sigh of homage to the rector's fidelity to the pure white snowflower, while she pretended to disapprove. In sly reverence for her son's great love, she spoke no word against that nettle which flourished in the evil world, and which had once been called Mrs. Arthur Saywell. Now, thank heaven, having married again, she was no more Mrs. Arthur Saywell. No woman bore the rector's name. The pure white snow- flower bloomed in perpetuum, without nomenclature. The family even thought of her as She-who-was-Cynthia.
All this was water on the Mater's mill. It secured her against Arthur's ever marrying again. She had him by his feeblest weakness, his skulking self-love. He had married an imperishable white snowflower. Lucky man! He had been injured! Unhappy man! He had suffered. Ah, what a heart of love! And he had - forgiven! Yes, the white snowflower was forgiven. He even had made provision in his will for her, when that other scoundrel - But hush! Don't even THINK too near to that horrid nettle in the rank outer world! She-who-was-Cynthia. Let the white snowflower bloom inaccessible on the heights of the past. The present is another story.
The children were brought up in this atmosphere of cunning self- sanctification and of unmentionability. They too, saw the snowflower on inaccessible heights. They too knew that it was throned in lone splendour aloft their lives, never to be touched.
At the same time, out of the squalid world sometimes would come a rank, evil smell of selfishness and degraded lust, the smell of that awful nettle, She-who-was-Cynthia. This nettle actually contrived, at intervals, to get a little note through to her girls, her children. And at this the silver-haired Mater shook inwardly with hate. For if She-who-was-Cynthia ever came back, there wouldn't be much left of the Mater. A secret gust of hate went from the old granny to the girls, children of that foul nettle of lust, that Cynthia who had had such an affectionate contempt for the Mater.
Mingled with all this, was the children's perfectly distinct recollection of their real home, the Vicarage in the south, and their glamorous but not very dependable mother, Cynthia. She had made a great glow, a flow of life, like a swift and dangerous sun in the home, forever coming and going. They always associated her presence with brightness, but also with danger; with glamour, but with fearful selfishness.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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CHUTIA: The term used to describe a person whose realities of life are different than yours!Related

Newest Shortest lovely Joke, I mean Really ?
——————————————–

Me: Hey Bhagwan!

Bhagwan: Hey!Related

Emmanuel has been brought to the prison Me: na your face be this oga Emma..welcome to our
new home “He didn’t answer me” Me: I said welcome to our new home..you no dey hear
word? (i shouted on top my voice) Sparko: oga, wetyn happen now..why you dey disturb
us with your noise now Me: No vex oga sparko, na this mother furker carry me
enter this place ni Sparko: How? Me: He was the one that killed my wife Sparko: You know mean am? All the same, no be now
you suppose dey shout for the guy, give am some
time, make hin settle down for new house before you
start questioning him….dis place still dey strange to
him, just keep am cool before you commit another
murder because i never see you to be this aggressive before. I stepped out of the place because the sight of Emma
was infuriating me. It has been almost a week Emma
was brought to the prison, even though we slept in the
same room but we never uttered one single word to
each other. I was outside the prison room this lovely afternoon
thinking about my life and everything when suddenly
someone tapped me from behind, it was sparko, the
don of our room in company of Emma, he said Emma
came to him that he needed to talk to me but does not
know how to go about it. He wanted him to interfere in it Emma: Please am very sorry Snakie, i have to come
and seek for your forgiveness so that God can forgive
me too maybe i will get a soft landing Me: My forgiveness on what? How will i forgive you
when i don’t know your offence? Emma: You know my offence and am very sorry, it was
all a mistake Me: Mistake? How..how did it happen? Well i can only
forgive you if you are ready to say the truth from the
beginning till the end in the presence of the chief
warden Emma: i will do anything if that is what you wanted “We all walk straight down to the warden office and
that was made possible because of my interaction
with them, fortunately for us the boss was around and
we went to his office” Oga: Ehn..ehn, how may i help you, they said you guys
want to see me Me: Yes Ma, Emma said he wanted to talk to me based
on what brought both of us here and i want you to be
a witness to our discussion Oga: Oh oh..is that true Emma Emma: Yes Oga, i just need him to forgive me so that
Biola’s spirit can also forgive me, it was all a mistake Oga: Okay..we are listening, what happened Me: You have to start from the beginning from how
you met my wife. Emma: Well, Biola was my neighbour, i met her when
she moved to the BQ in our compound, I was so happy
when i realized she was still single as i saw that as
opportunity to mingle together. When she first came in, for like a whole month i didn’t
see any guy visiting him neither does he go out, her
movement is always from office to work, she was
always at home during the weekend too. I was so nice to her, trying to always keep her
company, she was not a novice so she got the body
language and always try as much as possible to excuse
herself from me but i still manage to always say hello
to her. I will call her at regular interval to know how
she was doing and all sort. It all happened this particular Friday evening; i went to
her flat to check on her, her mood was so different
from what have been seeing over the past one month.
I enquire on the mood change, after series of
pestering; she told me she was promoted in her office.
I told her that called for celebration, i went back to my room, came back with a full bottle of alcoholic drink
and before she knew what was happening, i purposely
got her drunk and she started mentioning your name
even though have not met you there, she talked about
how she loved you and you disappointed her.. I realized that was an advantage for me so i took her
inside her bedroom and have sex with her. Me: without her knowledge? Emma: I don’t know but she was crazy during the sex,
she was aware but i guess she was seeing someone
else in me, it was not until the following morning she
woke up, found both of us naked on her bed and
chased me out of her flat after she started crying. I thought i was sharp because i took enough of her
naked picture that very day and even used my phone
to cover the sex scene so that i can always use it
against her in other for me to have access to her again. Biola stop talking to me since that day and it was not
quite long after that incident i saw you with her and
she introduced you to me as her fiancée, if you could
remember, i purposely wanted to be your friend so
that she will have the fear in mind that i can leak our
secret to you which in turn will always make me to have my way. Biola definitely against my thought was a strong
character, she called my bluff but i was waiting for the
right time to show her the nude pictures of her that i
have in my possession. Biola stop coming to the house
all of a sudden was i was still yarning to have a taste of
her even if for the last time

To Be Continued...



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Funny Quotes [Read it]


Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m."

You may not know how beautiful a monkey is until you spend money on it.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-01 15:51:22

317 Views




What does Rajinikanth eat?

Whatever his wife cooks. Even he doesn’t have a choice here.Related

female voice [Read it]


Hahahahaha!!! This my facebook friend is back againrnwith her English;rn1. My God is upsome!rn2. Thank God for a brownrnnew day!rn3. What is strong with you?rn4. Not all that glitters arerngoats!rn5. Majority carries the voltrn(Not only volt, transformer too, abi?)rn6. May your name be highly exhausted!rn7. My waste is paining me!rn8. Thank God for spearingrnmy life (With arrow, abi with dagger?)rn9. Why are people so weekend?rn10. Lord! you are the killerrnthat holds my life!rn11. Please, how much is yourrnage?rn12. Look to the window, the principal just passedrnaway (You were the one that killed him abi?)rn13. Lord let your wheel berndone.rnPlease you can add yoursrn#YOURS_FEMZZY


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-02-12 08:42:35

278 Views



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