Unlimited Jokes and Funny Moments:

KNOCK! KNOCK!! [Read it]


As an ultimate test of his will power,
Akpos decided to give up sex for lent
(fasting). Although not thrilled with the
idea, his wife agreed to support him in
this effort. The first few weeks weren't
too difficult. Things got tougher during the next couple of weeks, so his wife
wore her dowdiest night clothes and
chewed on garlic before going to bed. The last couple of weeks were
extremely tough on Akpos, so his wife
took to locking the bedroom door and
forcing him to sleep on the couch.
Easter morning finally
came. A knock came on the wife's bedroom door, "KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!!
KNOCK!!!" AKPOS: Guess who? WIFE: I know who it is! AKPOS: Guess what I want? WIFE: I know what you want! AKPOS: Guess what I'm knocking with?
#BOLLY_SMART ?? ? ? ? ? ??™


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-01-29 21:20:09

453 Views



Safe cracker [Read it]


The local bank near a large prison had a problem opening their safe one day. Seems that the mechanisms working the combination failed, so they called the prison to seek help.
The prison had a convicted safe cracker in custody. They released him under guard and took him to the bank to see if he could open their safe.
The convict worked on the lock for quite a while but finally he was able to open the safe.
The bank president was delighted to see his safe opened without having to have it ruined in the process, he turned to the safe cracker and said, “Thanks for helping us out here, how much do we owe you?”
The safe cracker replied, “Well the last time I did one of these jobs I got about $100,000!”Related

scrath and win [Read it]


Promo







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-30 12:35:31

773 Views



stupidity [Read it]


Mr James and his friend Mr Akpos were
arguing about their sons’ stupidity.
Mr James argued that his son was more
silly than Akpo’s son. Akpos father
however disagreed, so they decided 2 put
their sons to a test.
James called his son and asked him to buy
something for him at the market.
The boy ran out without even asking for
what to buy and money.
James said: U see how silly he is? He
didn’t even ask for what to buy or money

Mr Akpos retorted: “Is this what you call
foolishness? just wait and see”
PAPA Akpos calls his son and said “go
home and check if I am in d house”
Akpos took to his heel & came back
panting “papa! Papa!! U no dey house.
Mama say U dey your friend place.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-14 09:23:59

383 Views



prof.t [Read it]


Akpors found a missing purse and returned
it to
the owner in a market. The lady was so
grateful but
when she looked inside, she got confused
and
said,”but I had just a single note of a
thousand
naira, now there are ten notes of one
hundred
naira, how come? Akpors said “na me
change am,
because the last time I help person find
purse she
say she for give me something but change
no dey!!
ONE WORD FOR AKPORS?



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-27 07:45:28

433 Views




ONE WRONG TURN

Episode 6

Take off your pant and spread
your legs”, my mum ordered.
“But why?” i inquired
“you said you are a virgin abi?
Oya let me check weather your
hymen is still intact”
Those words hit me like a bolt of
lightening. The very thought of
my mum inspecting my virgin
hole infuriated me. My
countenance changed, i started to
cry again.
“No mum, you can’t do that, It’s
degrading. I won’t let you touch
me”
“Osas! Ighalo! Come here” my
mum shouted from my room.
” if you won’t co-operate with me,
i ll tell them to hold you down for
me, It’s either me and you, or you
allow all the men in this house to
see your unclothedness today”
Osas and Ighalo were already
outside my door, inquiring why
my mum wanted them. My crying
intensified, a feeling of frustration
enveloped me.
“Oya I’m waiting, or should i open
the door for them?” My mum said
impatiently.
Slowly, i took off my panties from
underneath my skirt, with tears
gushing out of my eyes in
torrents.
I laid still, and moved my legs
apart. My mum burried her head
between my legs, i could feel her
seperating my labia with her
fingers. What she was looking for,
or hoping to find I had no idea.
By the time she was through, i
wasn’t crying anymore. My
countenance changed. It wasnt
just sadness anymore. I was bitter.
A feeling of anger and hatred
overwhelmed me.
My mum, propped herself up, and
walked away, without saying a
word to me. She probably
discovered i had told the truth,
but pride and shame won’t let her
apologize.
I turned around and looked at the
wall clock, it was almost 1am, i
have been deep in thought for
hours. My mind went over the
day’s activities.
My parents have locked me in a
cage, my mum humiliated me. My
father wants to kill me. I felt
alone and depressed.
There was only one ray of
sunshine for me today. Somebody
loves me. He told me himself. I
had never felt so loved before.
Despite all that happened today, i
ll do anything to get that kiss
again, to fall helplessly into his
caring arms.
He ll be my shoulder to cry on. I
must see Ehis again, no matter
what it takes. He alone can help
me find happiness in this little
world of mine.
But how do i escape from the
watchful eyes of my parents? I
know after today, dad will never
allow me attend practice again.
But i must find a way, i know just
the right people who can help me.
Ruth and Hannah. I can’t wait to
see them.


>>

A Policeman pulls a blonde in a sports car over for speeding and is trying to explain to her what and where her driver`s license might be. After she eventually gives him her driver`s license, he asks for registration.

Getting another blank blonde look from her, he explains, “It`s that little piece of paper you get with your car and you keep it in the glove compartment.”

“Ah,” she says as she bends over to get it. While she is looking through the glove compartment, the officer gets excited. The officer unzips his pants and pulls his member out.

Excited that she had found her registration, she turns around and looks up. A look of dismay crosses her face and she says, “Oh, no! Not another breath-analizer test!”Related

APC CHANGE [Read it]


A teacher in ogbomosho asked his students, 1+1= ?.
A student stood up and said 4. An old man passing by overhead the response, he shook his head and said: "This APC government will kill us in this country. Everything has increased, dollar, transport fare, foodstuff, beer, ...everything. Even 1+1 that used to be 2 has now gone up to 4..."???.....


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-16 12:11:31

387 Views




“Justice?” my voice faded as i watched in shock. He came closer and embraced abigail. They held each other so tight. ” justice” i called out her name. I don’t even know why i called out his name but i did. He withdrew from abigail and shook my hands and appreciation. “darling, come on, say something” abigail said, whiles drawing him closer to the Mic. The next things i saw was Alex, standing beside me. “whats going on?” he asked. I knew he was surprise. Abigail didnt pay any attention to us, her mind and everything was on him, only Justice. “hei lets leave this place” i heard Alex say. “what! Ofcourse not!” i yelled out of surprise. I didnt know what happened to me. I couldn’t bear seeing them together. I ran into the room, using the same direction the engineer took. “hei,” i heard Alex shouting after me. Im sure he was following me but i didnt stop. I couldn’t stop. I ran till i got to the entrance leading to the back door. I stood by the wall and wept out my heart. “oh GOD!, why me!” i reall wept. Tears of blood. ” hei what are you doing? What is wrong with you?” Alex held me with force. I couldn’t react, i couldn’t talk, i was so weak. He was just shaking me, yeah that was what i saw until she walked in.
“hei what are you doing to my friend, let her go!” abigail pulled him away. ” will you stay away from this!” Alex yelled out of anger. ” come, come..” she held me in her arms. She took me into her room and laid me on her bed. She didnt actually ask anything because she wanted me to rest. And i was glad. “please have some rest, ” she said and closed the door behind her. Tears began to flow some more as i was left alone. I began to recall so many wonderful moments i had with Johnson. My heart was so broken and i was so down. What even broke me down the more was the moment i had with him in the trotro. I wept till i slept off.
I didnt see anything until the party was over. It was around 11pm i guess. I woke up still in a sad mood. My head was really aching. I got up from the bed, trying to walk out when someone walked in. Yes, someone walked in and it was no other than the engineer. “aw sorry miss” he smiled and turned to walk away. ” no, wait.. Please wait” i begged. It was really difficultfor him to decide but he reluctantly did. “yes, what is it” he turned with a serious face now. ” im sorry” i broke down in tears as i held my lips. ” justice i am sorry, i cant say anything to justify this than i am sorry,” i wept more. ” alright” he responded and tried to turn away again. “justice ” i held his hand. ” what do you want from me now? Let me be okay, come to think of it? Who is Alex to you?” he asked with all seriousness. I couldn’t answer him. I was mute. We stood there for two minutes without any word from me. I couldn’t stare at him. ” aw i see, sorry for asking, then. I also love Abigail very much Mina..” he didnt actually finish his statement when i cut him short. “Mina?..?” i asked. Hope you know why i asked. He never calls me Mina, i am his beautiful Hagan, so what happened now? “yes, is that notyour name? Aw sorry Hagan right?” he said with a smile. ” i thought i am your beautiful Hagan” i said shyly. ” you were the most beautiful girl i ever loved. Well, so i thought, until thanks to you and the guy i thought was my friend, i met the most beautiful among beauty, beautiful Abigail” he said whiles staring right into my eyes. I moved a step back instantly as i held my chest. ” you never gave me the chance to explain anything. You were never there for me and i don’t need you to me there anymore. Just hope he didnt have his way with you?” abigail walked in right after his words. “hei dear” she held him when she saw her. ” have you two met already? This is my friend Beautiful Hagan and Mina, this is Justice Johnson” she introduced us. How ignorant she was. ” we have met dear” justice said as i stood there to stare at him. He stretched his hand to greet me, and you can believe what followed. I vomited into his hands! Seriously i didnt mean it! I rushed out of the room with a speed to vomit outside. ” oh, sorry! So sorry” i heard abigail apologizing to him.
Why did i vomit, i wasn’t that sick? What is actually wrong with me? And jeez, i vomited into his palm. Mmmmhhh

>>

?? ?????? ?? ??,
??? ????? ?? ????? ?? ?? ..???? ???? ?? ??? ?? ?? ??,
???? ?? ????? ?? ????? ? ?? ..??? ??? ?? ???? ??,
???? ?? ???? ????? ?? ????? ? ?? ..??? ???? ?????? ?? ??? ??,
?? ??? ??? ??????? ?? ????? ? ?? ..Related

Boy: Can I confess something?

Girl: Sure.

Boy: You’ve the prettiest smile I’ve ever seen?

Girl: Can I confess something as well?

Boy: Yeah.

Girl: This smile only exists because of you!Related

Episode 24

She came and stood in front of me smiling,,,she looks so adorable and extremely beautiful. I looked at her with love written all over my face… I took charge of the situation by offering her my hand, she accepted then we walked like newly weds to our seat at Lola’s right side. The MC continued with the menu after the cheering from the guests.
The MC called on the celebrant to get her man by her side. Another romantic drama took place when Lola brought her guy Dax to her side. Read more of this story @ >> coolval22.com
The party continued from one interesting item to the other… from cutting the cake to dancing, artistes performances and other entertaining performances. Lola’s boyfriend, Dax also performed a special song for Lola,,,, that was when I know that he was a Musician.
The time for general dance,,, everyone started taking their lady to the dance floor, I also did the same. I noticed how Nancy looked at me when that Vincent, Dax’s friend offered her his hand as a request for her to dance with him. I just nod a ‘go ahead’ for her so she’ll not fall his hand. I wasn’t focused on my dancing because I was watching them for any wrong dance moves but he danced like a gentleman,,, although I was still suspecting him (Vincent).
The refreshments were extremely refreshing, I didn’t ate much though,,, I reserved myself for later when I can eat comfortably, probably with familiar eyes and not otherwise.
Later in the evening around 7.pm or thereabout, the MC announced the main event of the menu which is the “Pool Party”. Everyone cheered and applauded to the anouncement. Then they brought in costumes for the Pool party for both male and females. Bikinis for females and shorts for males. The MC further said that…
MC: Its time to see dah sis packs in dah house and some banging bodies baby! leeets do this!! **Drops mic**
(Instantly, the lights turned red and blue)
Personally, I wasn’t OK on that one, I felt somehow uncomfortable.
Mirabel: Hey handsome
Me: Baby is this necessary?
Mirabel: Well, this is the best part Lola loves on every birthday party she attends ,,, so she also want to do it on her own birthday party, so here we are
Me: I don’t think I can participate on this one
Mirabel: What? honey please you have to
Me: I can’t,,, I’m not feeling this
Mirabel: Honey let’s do this for Lola pleaaase?
Me: Mirabel….
Mirabel: Honey pleaseee… just for today, for Lola please honey
Me: OK alright
Mirabel: Thanks hun,,, don’t be shy of your invisible packs
Me: What?
Mirabel: Lemme get a short for you, gimme a minute
Dax: Hey guys… Mirabel and ermmm sorry?
Me: Victor
Dax: Yea my bad, how is it going bro?
Me: Just good **handshakes**
Vincent: Hey man
Me: Bro whats up **handskakes**
Vincent: Good,,,, its a nice party
Me: Yea…
Mirabel: I’m coming guys **runs away**
Me and both guys who were already on shorts showing their six packs chatted a little about some things before Mirabel showed up with a short for me. I excused myself and went in to put it on before joining them,,, I had my siglet on though, I don’t have packs and I don’t even like appearing bare-bodied in public.
We all surrounded the pool in groups, some in twos and others inside the pool already having fun with non-stop party music and drinks. There were balls, water-guns and so many things that made the pool party fun for them.
I was with Dax and Vincent chatting and getting to know each other, I was very comfortable with them,,, that was how we became friends.
Mirabel: Excuse me guys, can I borrow my boyfriend?
Dax: Sure of course, I should be with my baby too… Vince I can’t help you tonight again bro, this is what I’ve been telling you about,,, get yourself a girlfriend
Vincent: Guy leave that thing, I don’t need a w---e or should I kill myself for not finding the type of girl I need?
Dax: You will start doing ultimate search after the loneliness you will feel today, everyone will be in twos soon and there isn’t any single girl here
Vincent: You guys should just go and leave me alone, loneliness won’t kill me
Mirabel: (Laughs) Of course we’ll go,,,, honey let’s go (Drawing my hand along with her)
Me: Guys i’m coming…
Vincent: Ok bro
I smell conspiration among those guys, Infact I was sure that they’re trying to get my sister for Vincent and trying to make me know that he is a good and responsible guy but I refused to concur.
Mirabel took me to the garden where we once met, then we started strolling around slowly.
Mirabel: You remember this place when we started our relationship? I come here whenever I feel lonely to relax myself and also smiled sometimes with tears when I recalled that day we met here. I have loved this place since then because of the good memory.
Me: I remembered everything, even from the first time I saw you, I can still remember vividly like it was all yesterday. How it all started from hate to love
Mirabel: Yea, you were so annoying by then…
Me: Do you know I hated you at first sight?
Mirabel: What? but why?
Me: Because of how you showed up that day, how you spoke with your guards that are older than you and how you spoke with the Lecturer made me thought you were a spoilt arrogant brat
Mirabel: Hhmmmm… I only disliked you because I thought you were a proud guy that shows off his intelligence to make everyone think you’re the best or something,,, and I hate pride.
Me: So we totally misjudged each other
Mirabel: Yea absolutely,,, then I fell for you before I knew it. You hurt me alot when you played hard to get Read more of this story @ >> coolval22.com
Me: I played hard to get?
Mirabel: Have you forgotten?
Me: Well, it wasn’t like that… I saw you as a lover girl that needed real love not with someone like me who wasn’t sure of himself. Hey what are we even talking about? we’re spoiling the mood already, lets forget about all that and focused on the romantic night
We stopped for a while then faced each other, she placed her hands on my shoulder and we looked straight to each other’s eyes.
Mirabel: So… how romantic could this be?
I smiled sheepishly then drew her closer and initiated a kissing session that led to a hot romance for many minutes. The romance came to an abrupt end as I pulled off when the thought of my sister popped up.
Me: Lets go inside (Smiling)
Mirabel: Victor please no
Victor: Why? you don’t want to go inside?
Mirabel: You know what i meant
Me: I don’t think i do
Mirabel: You know we shouldn’t go beyond kisses and romance
Me: Yea I know. Oh… wait, you thought I was going to…..? Nah… far from it, my mind was far from that. I just want us to go inside and probably continue there ‘coz its late already
Mirabel: Is that so? Alright, lets go
I went back to the pool and saw that the party was over and most of them had left, remaining some in twos that were just talking while others were making out. I was looking around every corner my eyesight can reach to catch them red-handed,,, by that I meant my Sister Nancy and that Vincent but I couldn’t find them. I met with the male bodyguard and asked him if he has seen her. He replied saying he hasn’t seen her all night. My heart started beating with rage, I thought of what i’d do the instance I catch them together. I went inside Mirabel’s lodge, there she was sleeping on the chair. I became speechless…. Mirabel woke her up and showed her where she’d sleep. I told Mirabel to join me go to Lola’s lodge to eat that I didn’t eat well earliar, She agreed that she also want to eat too.
We went there, and I saw that the party continued in there, they were dancing nude.

TO BE CONTINUED.

>>

TEACHER: What is the
name of the Capital City
of Somalia ?
AKPOS: Bomb Blast.
TEACHER: AKPOS, You
are Wrong, You need to
focus more on your
studies.
AKPOS: Please madam,
can I ask u a few
questions.
TEACHER: Yes, go ahead.
AKPOS: Do u know
Tracy?
TEACHER: No.
AKPOS: Do u know
Blessing?
TEACHER: No.
AKPOS: Do u know
Ruth?
TEACHER: (Angry) Hell
no! Who are all these
people and why do u
ask?
AKPOS: Teacher, You
need to Focus more on
your husband.#B-goF



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-06 10:58:19

455 Views




Order your ileya ram now!!
Brand new ram- #50k
London use ram-40k
Ram with 1 eye-35k
Blind ram-25k
Ram with 3legs-20k
Cripple ram-15k
Dead ram-5k
Place your order now to this number... Contact AoNOMOLOS VENTURES on 08113320011 and 08071213502 respectively #awaiting your call/order #AoN


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-09-16 20:59:56

542 Views



confession [Read it]


Akpos and Ochuko were
drinking palm
wine together. Ochuko said,
"Akpos, I have
a confession to make." Akpos
asked, "What
is it?" Ochuko said, "Last week,
I slept with
your wife. I am sorry." Akpos
shouted,
"You slept with my wife?!"
Ochuko said,
"Please forgive me." Akpos
cooled down
and said, "What are friends
for? I forgive
you." The following week,
Ochuko was
furious that someone had
harvested all his
crops in his farmland. During
their
drinking time in the evening,
Akpos said to
Ochuko, "Ochuko, I have a
confession to
make." Ochuko asked, "What is
it?" Akpos
said, "I was the one who
harvested all your
crops. I am very sorry I did
that." Ochuko,
after getting angry, said, "What
are friends
for? I forgive you." Two weeks
later, they
were drinking palm wine
together when
Ochuko said to Akpos, "Akpos,
I have a
confession to make." Akpos
asked, "What
is it?" Ochuko said, "I poisoned
your drink
because I was angry with you.
Please
forgive me. Akpos said, "So
you poisoned
my drink? Anyway what are
friends for? I
forgive you. I also have a
confession to
make." Ochuko asked, "What is
it?" Akpos
said, "I am sorry! I exchanged
our drinks.
Please forgive me"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-10 20:11:24

1260 Views




A little Test to find out the way you think:

Read this: THEPENISINMYMOUTH

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Did you read the pen is in my mouth?

No you didn’t. Pass it on, you cock sucker!Related

Transparent [Read it]


TEACHER: Akpos, what's the opposite of transparent?

AKPOS: Transchildren!


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-22 08:50:11

154 Views




She walked into the banking hall, her pointed shoe announcing her arrival minutes before you saw her. She wore that kind of dress that convinces you that heaven is missing an angel. The aroma of her perfume would easily finish a bowl of eba for its sweetness. And the phone which she gingerly held to her ear, without minding the security guy frantically waving at her that calls are not allowed in banking halls, will cost a small fortune. She stepped forward, picked a deposit slip and searched frantically for a pen. About five guys offered her their pens but, shame to bad people, she took mine maybe because I was closest to her.
After a while, or a long while because time stood still, she stood up and inched closer to me.
She whispered: "Please can you spell 'thirty' for me?"
I looked down at her deposit slip in surprise.
She'd written: 'tarty tausan'!
Olodumare!!!!!!
I hissed and snatched my biro from her hand. Fine face, no brains.
#OlodoOshi. Mchewww!



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2016-03-21 14:22:05

448 Views




I entered a bus from lokoja to Minna.After some minutes, I decided to scare the passengers.So I brought tout my phone.. And started faking a call. '' "hello oga, I don dey press dat button since but the bomb no gree blow".Na the blue one I go press or the red one? Ok the red one? I go do am now'' come and see reactions. Igbo man: (picks his phone to make a call) ''hello Chuwkudi, run now to Apapa and wait for my container. It's like I will die today but make sure you collect my money from chukwuEmeka..Th e Yoruba woman: '' driver wêré,. So u can't stop for some body to come down? Oloshi.. I was just laughing inside until the hausa man siting close to me said (to me).Hausa man: '' oga abeg dat time wey you dey make call,where dem say make you press so that the bomb go blow? Coz i don dey press my own self since and d tin never blow. I jumped out of theluxurious through window.!Me wey dey play.......see wahala #B-goF


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-12-10 17:38:41

654 Views




A woman called up the hospital and said,


“I want to know if the patient Rita Brown in Room No 1438 is getting better,”


The RMO replied, “She is doing very well. She had her first solid meal today, her blood pressure is fine and if she continues improving she might even be sent home in a couple of days.”


The woman said, “Thank God! That’s wonderful news!”


RMO: I take it you must be a family member or a close friend!


Woman: No I am Rita Brown. No one tells me anything!Related

Nigerian guy living in Sweden smartly married a Swedish lady, so as to be legally certified with resident permit, but the lady was not aware of this. He lied to the lady that he is from Kenya because of the bad reputation of Nigerians in that part of Sweden. After their wedding, the lady returned home one day and informed the guy that she met her friend, a Swedish lady also married to a Kenyan and will like them to have a dinner together. The Naija guy was disturbed and kept thinking how he will get out of this dark spot. He postponed and postponed the proposed dinner until he got tired of postponing. Finally the D-DAY came, they all sat down in a restaurant. Our Naija guy was quiet and was sweating profusely in spite of the cold atmosphere of Sweden (-8C). The ladies asked their husbands to communicate in their local dialect since they are both from same country(Kenya).The Naija guy being a man of great savvy decided he will just speak Igbo, if the other guy didn't understand, he will claim that he is from another tribe and region in Kenya. Then he started, "Nwanne a wum nwafo owerri, owerre nchi ise, I wu kwanu onye olee, daa? The other Kenyan looked up and replied "Ah Nwanne, ekele diri chineke, onye na asuru ndigbo uzo ha. E chekwe m na enwela m nsogbu taa. Abu m nwafo AHIAZU Mbaise . Nwanne birikwe o! They shook hands and embraced each other to the admiration of the ladies. Igbo's no dey carry last. Igbo kwenu!!!!!!!!!!!







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-15 04:40:59

483 Views




THE MISTAKE OF MY LIFE

EPISODE 8

I knocked on Edwina’s door thrice before she opened it. I greeted her. she yawned, looked at the wall clock hanging on the wall. It was 5.45am.

“How was your night?” she asked.
“fine” i replied.
She made to usher me in, perhaps to hear me tell her ‘yes, i will accept the offer’ but i was reluctant. She noticed and asked if there’s any problem.

“I want to see my child” i told her.
She looked at me intently as if she didn’t know it was i. After much staring, she told me that my child is with the nursery mistress.
“Where do i find her?” i asked. She said nothing.

All she did was to walk into her room and come back with a little bag. she handed it over to me.
“This is the money we talked about. take it and leave. I have taken your daughter as mine already. Go and get ready with the rest girls, you are going on your first outing with them today?” She said and shut the door.

“Noo i don’t want your money. I need my daughter. I don’t want to stay here anymore. Give my my daughter so i can leave” i kept shouting as i hit the door hard. I threw away the money. I can never exchange my Akosua, the first fruit of my womb for money.

I was still there when three Hefty men came out from nowhere and ordered me to keep quiet. I refused. One of them gave me the hardest slap i ever received since i was born. I had no other choice than to keep quiet amidst sobs.

They locked me in one room. I knew Edwina ordered them to do that. I cried bitterly. I prayed to God to hearken unto my cries for i know i have sinned. I cursed the day i slept with Reginald. I cursed the day i met him.

Throughout that day, i was locked up with no food nor water. I became very weak.
It was around 10pm that i heard the door open slightly. Felinda creeped in and signaled to me to keep quiet. She locked the door and gave me the food she brought for me.

“I saw what happened. I have been looking for a chance to bring you something but i found none. Please eat the food fast before Edwina finds me here” she whispered.

After eating, she told me that Edwina locked me up so that i will die of starvation. Felinda said Edwina has killed countless girls in that manner. I was really surprised at this that i gave out a loud gasp.

“But because i found out you are a nice person, i decided to help you. I put something in that ”three men’s” drink to make them sleep. I want you to escape”She said.

I was really touched with this kind of kindness.
“But how do i escape without my daughter?” I asked.
It was then Felinda told me that my daughter has been taken away. She gave me some money, led me carefully out of the house and bade me safe journey.
“Thank you so much Felinda. God will bless you” i said as i left.

I looked into the darkness of the night with a great fear, not knowing where to go. I wondered if i could survive that night and if i can ever see my daughter again.


What happens next?
FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS IN EPISODE 9


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.Related

Joan: did you see my husband?
Maid: no;are you looking for him
Joan: what kind of a silly question is that?
Maid: sorry;i thought you were aware that he is......(enter Luke)
Joan: he is what?
Luke: Joan
Maid: excuse me ma(exit Maid)
Joan: Luke;where are you coming from?
Luke: i just take a walk outside
Joan: since when do you start walking outside in the night?
Luke: i just want to clear my head
Joan: really
Luke: what is that?
Joan: nothing;i didn't say anything. i will just go to bed
Luke: Joan;hold on
Joan: what?
Luke: assuredly;i was with Loveth(she slapped him)what is it?
Joan: i take every insult all because i love you but all you could do was to cheat on me with your own brother's wife
Luke: hold on Joan
Joan: go on and tell that to a baby that you are flirting with your brother's wife
Luke: you are not getting me
Joan: you think i am that gullible?how will you explain the fact that you are with another woman at this time of the day
Luke: nothing happen between us;i just want to rekindle our friendship(she slapped him again and walk out into the kitchen)where are you going to?(he walked after her)hold on(they walked into the kitchen where the maid was busy looking at the snap picture of Luke and Loveth)
Joan: where the hell is your slot of a madam?
Maid: there is no slot here ma(she continued looking at the picture and smiling)
Joan: are you mad?i am(she drag the phone from her hand)talking to you and you are busy pressing phone
Luke: Joan;stop this
Maid: ma;give me my phone(she try to drag the phone but Joan saw the picture)
Joan: what?
Maid: madam;that picture is not for you
Joan: will you shut and you(to Luke)its just a day and you started kissing;holding and hugging her
Luke: Joan;that is not what happen?i...
Joan: go on and explain your stupid to everyone in this house. Loveth(she screamed)come out and face me(everyone walked into the sitting room)Loveth(she pull her by the dress)
Jude: are you okay?that is my wife you are pulling?
Joan: your wife is a public object
Loveth: Joan;are you okay?
Joan: yes;no i am not(she show them the picture)
Jude: what?
Joan: please tell your prostitute of a wife to stay away from my husband
Luke: Joan;will you stop
Joan: i should stop
Lucas: will all stop making noise,Son,tell me what happen?
Jude: Loveth;upstair
Loveth: Jude;is not what you think
Jude: did i say anything?just go upstair(she struggle with her leg upstair)Joan.....
Luke: Jude;i am sorry but is not what you think
Liz: how do you expect my son to believe that you are not doing anything with his wife
Luke: believe me ma;i didn't do anything with her
Liz: say that to the bird;Jude lets go(she walked away)come on son(exit Liz/Jude)
Joan: you are a disgrace Luke(exit Joan)
Luke: i didn't do it(he sat and he remember that Loveth is with Jude)sir;please(to Lucas)tell your son;that nothing happen between me and her;just tell him;if he is mad at her;he should take it out on me,is all my fault. i really don't mean to put her in trouble,please tell him not to hurt her
Lucas: you love her right
Luke: what?
Lucas: go on and tell the truth;i saw the way you look at her at the dinning and i just saw same attitude when you realise that Jude is with her,you want to protect her right?
Luke: yes;i want to protect her that doesn't mean that i love her
Lucas: i am your dad;i could defined the person you are;even if we just met for just a day after so many years because you just like me
Luke: i am not you;i will never cheat on my wife. so i am not you because i will not hurt my wife
Lucas: don't be too sure;the question is,how long will you be able to hold yourself without going back to your first love (he turn to leave)just be careful and do the right thing because she is married(exit Lucas)
Luke: is he really saying the fact?am i still in love with her?Luke;just stop it,you are no longer in love with her. she is out of your life and mind(curtain)


Loveth: Jude;i can't explain
Jude: there is no need for that?
Loveth: nothing happen between us;i swear
Jude: did he held you or not?
Loveth: yes(Liz slapped her)i am sorry ma
Liz: you are a prostitute
Jude: mom;stop,she is not a prostitute
Liz: are you going to let her get away with this?
Jude: she did nothing
Liz: but you saw the picture
Jude: i saw it and i take it as a mistake
Liz: Jude
Jude: mom;please just let me deal with my issues
Liz: suit yourself(exit Liz)
Loveth: Jude(he walked towards her)Jude;i can explain
Jude: explain nothing to me;just stay away from him because the next time;it wouldn't be this easy because someone head will be chop off
Loveth: Jude
Jude: just go to bed(she lie down and pray a silent prayer thanking God)i just hope that this isn't true because Luke;i will forget the fact that we are brothers(curtain)

Luke: Joan;wake up(he wake her up)
Joan: what is it this time?
Luke: can we talk
Joan: talk about what?of cause;we need to talk about your stupidity
Luke: Joan
Joan: don't you dare Joan me
Luke: is it that you don't trust me at all
Joan: i thought i know you but i don't;you are nothing but a worthless promiscuous man
Luke: Joan....
Joan: there you sit and castigate your dad but you are no difference
Luke: will you stop it(he pushed her to the bed)i am sorry
Joan: so you want to beat me up
Luke: i said i am sorry
Joan: your mom must hear this(she picked her phone and call Muriel)
Luke: do you have to do that?
Joan: yes;you are a monster
Luke: i will not go on with this(he stood up to leave)
Joan: oh you want to go out and check if she is there(she stood up as well)come on lets go together
Luke: Joan;just go to bed(he lied down)
Joan: better(curtain)


Maid: good morning sir
Lucas: morning;where are the others?
Maid: i don't know sir(enter Luke/Liz)
Luke: good day sir
Lucas: how are you?(enter Joan/Ruth)
Luke: am good;sorry about last night ma
Liz: keep your sorry to yourself
Lucas: will you keep quiet
Liz: take side with him
Lucas: come on Joan sit and lets eat
Joan: thank you sir(enter Jude)
Jude: good day sir
Lucas: how are you son?
Jude: i am fine;how are you kid brother
Luke: fine;sorry for last night;i just wanted to.....
Jude: no need for that i believe you two can't do anything against me
Luke: thank you
Ruth: uncle where is your wife?
Jude: she is busy upstair,so she cant come out
Ruth: can i go see her
Jude: if you want to
Ruth: thank you(she stood up to leave)
Joan: will you sit and finish your food
Ruth: mom;i will just bring my food with me
Joan: no way
Ruth: dad
Luke: baby;just go on and finish your food
Ruth: alright dad
Joan: sir;we are leaving this morning
Luke: Joan
Lucas: why?
Joan: I want to be able to keep my marriage intact before it get out of hand
Lucas: son is that what you want?
Luke: i will go with my wife
Joan: we will go ahead now;Ruth go get your stuff
Ruth: Mom;i don't want to
Joan: just keep quiet
Ruth: alright
Luke: thank you sir(they go in to get there stuff)are you making decision for me now
Joan: i don't care let just go
Luke: i just hope this doesn't get out of hand(they pack and to leave)i just go say goodbye to the old man
Joan: alright
Jude: Loveth;go get me;my laptop from my dad room
Loveth: alright(she leap to the room)
Lucas: son;are you leaving
Luke: yes;i am sorry for the trouble i cause you and your household
Lucas: you cause us no trouble(enter Loveth)we are family
Loveth: sorry for the intrusion;i want to get Jude laptop
Lucas: over there(she walked to get it and Luke stared at her)do you want to have a word with her?
Luke: what?
Lucas: go on and talk to her
Luke: thanks(he walked towards her)Loveth
Loveth: what?just let me be(she screamed)
Luke: why are you yelling?i am sorry if i made your husband hit you
Loveth: my husband is not like that;just leave me and my husband alone(she pull his necklace and give it to him)i have no used for it
Luke: must you reject my gift?
Loveth: my husband can buy me that,so i don't need your cheap....(tears roll his eyes)
Luke: Loveth;this is the second time;you rejected me and my gift and this time;i will never forgive you
Loveth: i don't care(she walked away)
Lucas: son
Luke: please(he walked away)
Lucas: i am sorry my son(curtain)



Liz: what are we having tonight?
Maid: pounded yam and bitter leaf
Liz: alright
Loveth: good day ma
Liz: what is good about the day?
Loveth: let me pound the yam
Liz: don't bother
Loveth: ma if i offend you forgive me
Liz: really?my son has never talk back at me before now until you came into his life but whatever charm you place on him;i will undo it
Loveth: i am sorry ma
Liz: sorry for your stupidity(exit Liz)
Loveth: i just wish everyone will understand that nothing happen between us(curtain)





SEE MORE....




NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Ebola + ISIS [Read it]


Great Britain - We are sending ground forces into West Africa to combat the deadly virus, 'Ebola', and we are sending humanitarian aid to combat the terrorist Organisation, 'ISIS'.


How we ever won two world wars I'll never know.


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-10-16 08:50:44

117 Views



question [Read it]


There are 5 birds on a tree, 4 birds decided to fly, how many bird where on the tree..


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-29 21:58:30

397 Views



@ home [Read it]


A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking
at her door.
She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing
there.
He asks the lady, "Do you have a Vagina?"
She slams the door in disgust.
The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its the
same man and he asks the same question to the woman,
"Do you have a Vagina?"
She slams the door again.
Later that night when her husband gets home she tell him
what has happened for the last two days.
The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned voice,
"Honey, I am taking an off tomorrow so as to be home,
just incase this guy shows up again."
The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both
ran for the door.
The husband whisperes to the wife, "Honey, im going to
hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I
want you to answer yes to the
question because I want to a see where he's going with
this."
She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there, he asks,
"Do you have a Vagina?"
"Yes I do." says the lady.
The man replies, "Good, would you mind telling your
husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours







NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-08-11 18:00:58

646 Views




BROKEN SEAL
EPISODE 18

Samuel: ladies and gents, its
time for beach party!!!
Everyone: yeeeee!
Samuel: okay okay enough of
screaming out your lungs.
There are two tents over
there….. This one (pointing) is
for the male folks while that
one is for the females. Get in
there and change into your
swim suits lets have funn!!!!
One more thing, guys aint
permitted to the ladies tent.
Everyone, including Ella and I
rushed to our respective tents.
In few minutes, we were all
out, the ladies were on red
bikinis and the guys on white
shorts. Everything was set for
the water polo. Let the fun
begin!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nikky and her family are all
seated in the black hyundai
sonata. Nikky’s plane only
arrived a couple of minutes
ago. She, her mum and her
little sis all sat in the back
while Angelo, their father was
in the front passenger seat,
their driver is on the wheels.
Angelo: (breaking the moment
of silence) Nikky, why did you
decide to depart from the
states on a valentine day?
Don’t you have a……….
Nikky: no dad, i don’t.
(changing the topic) mum,
what about the job you
mentioned weeks ago, any
vacancy?
Carolyne: of course dear, you
can start work anytime you
wish….right honey?
Angelo: hmmmm(nodding
affirmatively).
Nikky: Eva, how is school? Eva
(Nikky’s little sis): school is
fine. sister
Nikky, hope you got something
for me?
Nikky: yes, i got lot of stuffs
for you….i also bought your fav
toy.
Eva: really? (smiling)
Nikky: (nodding) hmmmm-
hummn. Silence flooded the
car od.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
The game ended with Ella’s
team winning my team by a
factor of two. We all changed
to our valentine wears and left
happily-a val well spent!!! Ella
and I drove to my
apartment……
Me: wow i still can’t believe
we’ar a couple already!
Ella: its the greatest thing that
have ever happened to me, the
feeling is awesome!
Me: same here honey.
Ella: but don’t you think its too
early for this?
Me: (confused confused) you
mean….?
Ella: i mean…..well you see we
don’t know much about each
other yet……
Me: that doesn’t matter, whats
more important is that we love
each other.
Ella: I know, still yet there are
somethings i’d like to tell you
about.
Me: uhm…..
Ella: Its about my life, i hardly
tell people about this.
Me: wow it means i’m special,
lets hear it please….
TBC
.
What do you quyz think Ella is
about to say…??


>>

Written By December

Episodes:

foolish akpors [Read it]


There were two frendz called Abor and Jerom. Aboh was owing Jerom a sum of 2,500 which he had borrowed from Jerom. Jerom went to Aboh to request for his money. Aboh had no money and his only idea of not paying the money is by killing himself. He did as he thouht. Jerom thinks of no option but to also kill himself


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-07-31 19:52:58

1623 Views



The smart Akpos [Read it]


Akpos paid visit 2 his friend,as they were discusing,hs wife who sat opposite 2 Akpos seductively open her leg.Akpos realy got aroused.as his friend entered d room.his(Akpos friend).wife asked Akpos,'d u lyk what u see'.Akpos replied.'yes'.the woman said.'#15000,u wil av it'.Akpos agreed and they agreed dat dey wil do it by 12pm 2morow.
Immediately it is 12pm Akpos was in hs friend door,the wife welcum him and without wasting tym they start having sex.after dat Akpos paid her the agreed price.
On evening when her husband came back,the following converstation ensued.
Husband:is Akpos here today?
Wifesupprised).yes.
Husband:by 12pm right.
Wife:yes,why d u ask.
Husband:Akpos always keep time.he came 2 my office and borrowed N15000.and promised 2 give it 2 u by 12pm at home.

WIFE FAINTED.......


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-06-22 19:59:15

362 Views




I was trying to move towards Biola’s flat
when Kayode rushed to me and gave
me a blow, it came as a surprise as I
never expected it, one of the guy with
them also rushed down to support him
but I quickly adjusted myself and tried to rescue myself from them. The third
guy came and was trying to separate us
while Emma was looking from far, even
Biola was in between us..
Kayode: U ehn…u will see what I will do
to you Guy in support: Lets treat this guy Bleep
up abeg..right now
Biola: You guys should please now…
Please Biola ran to Emma to come and talk to
his guys but he never burged. It was just
as if he was not concern and didn’t
know us from anywhere and it was so
unfortunate that there was no other
elderly person at home as at that moment. It was a serious fight and at a time I
thought to myself why one of the guys
was just neutral instead of him to toe
the line of the others but maybe he was
just the only reasonable one among
them afterall because how else will you explain Kay and Emma coming to bleep
my suppose pregnant wife under my
room and on my matrimonial bed. We went inside pick necessary things
that we came for and step out of the
room. The guys were still outside
discussing and immediately they
sighted us, Kay started shouting again
and wanted to come toward us and the gentle guy stopped him again saying
“guy is okay now…no dey show yourself
abeg, they don’t handle things this way,
he has shown your own video to the
world, they will still show his own in full
HD”. He turned back to me “Brother, don’t be offended”, “One love bro” I
replied.We entered the car and zoomed
off Me:Look at the rubbish these guys were
trying with me
Biola: That Kay is not even ashamed of
himself for him to have the gut to come
and approach you for a fight Me: Someone that suppose to be
begging
Biola: Or see you and run away….. Me: he doesn’t even have any shame at all
Biola: Don’t mind him…… Me: But come to think of it, how did
they know about the video that the
other guy said I showed it to the whole
world Biola: Dunno but maybe he means
discussing it in the presence of the
family members that day
Me: Okay oooo..they just spoilt my day
Biola: Forget about them jare baby. We got home and ended the day with a
lot of gist. By Wednesday, Biola made
her way to her parent house in
preparation for our coming on Sunday.
She couldn’t hide the secret visit from
her mum and had to tell her. She explained everything to her and even
played the video to her mum but she
was no that convince and when she
brought up the idea of my parent
coming to plead with them she totally
rebuff it saying that she doesn’t want anything that will bring problem in the
house. “problem in the house ke? Who
will cause the problem again? Atleast
our major obstacle is presently out of
the way now, so what the problem all
about again?”



NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Akpos was driving home after work.
It seems like he had a happy day in his office, so he forgot to put ON his seat belt.
He didn`t know when he ran into road safety corp.
Akpos: good evening sir.
Officer: Evening, this one your car look so old I hope the Head Lamp is working?
Akpos: Ha! Officer nawah to you, you take style dey insult my car. Anyway its working.
Officer: Ok, ON it let me see.
He ON it, and the officer was satisfied by it.
Officer: press your horn let me see.
He did that and the officer was satisfied.
Still looking for fault.
Officer. Ehemm! I noticed you didn`t PUT ON your seat belt. Your fine is N5000. No abeg.
Akpos: No way! You are totally wrong. Ok was my head lamp and horn ON when you stopped me?
Officer: No.
Akpos: fine, What happened was that, i already knew you are going to ask me to PUT my seat belt ON for a check, that`s why I removed it when I saw you from afar.



NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-14 21:14:38

13289 Views




Nancy: my baby what happen?
Vina: big sister(she cry and hug her)i don't want anything yo happen to Stephanie and big sister Monalisa
Nancy: nothing will happen to anyone of us
Peace: is alright
Monalisa: tell me;i am a bad mother,that can't protect her daughter;that can't stand for her daughter
Peace: you are not a bad mother
Monalisa: i am a failure;a worthless mother and sister. i also fail my sister and my mother
Nancy: you didn't;it is i and Peace that are the bad people here
Monalisa: don't try to make me feel good;when i can't be
Vina: is alright
Monalisa: is alright?when i can't find my daughter?(she cry)Stephanie;Stephie come down;mummy is calling you. come on
Nancy: stop it Lisa;you are just hurting yourself
Vina: here is your pills
Peace: go ahead take it to relax your brain

Stephanie: Desmond(she call in her sleep)Desmond(she open her eyes)
Rod: mama;papa she has open her eyes
Stephanie: who are you?(she tried to stand)oh no;it hurt
Timothy: don't try to stand up;you are badly hurt
Stephanie: who are you all?
Naomi: my daughter relax
Stephanie: where is Desmond?
Timothy: don't worry;he will soon be here
Stephanie: Desmond
Desmond: thank God;you are alive(he hugged her tight)
Stephanie: stop it;do you want to choke me to death
Desmond: i will never do that
Stephanie: who are these people?
Desmond: this is Mr Timothy and his wife and children. they are the ones whom save you;when you lost consciousness
Stephanie: thank you;i owe by life to you all
Desmond: yes;we are indebted to you all
Timothy: is alright;it is nothing;is a good thing that your brother found my daughter
Stephanie: my brother(he held her hand)
Desmond: yes;baby sister;when you passed out;i have no choice than to look for help
Stephanie: okay;thank you
Timothy: mama Rod;go and prepare something for her
Naomi: alright
Desmond: come on Joy;draw closer
Stephanie: is your name Joy?
Joy: yes

Rod: you are fine and you have a fine voice and smile
Stephanie: you are funny and you are the last and yo are handsome too. you such a baby(he frown) did i say anything wrong?
Desmond: he doesn't like it when people refer to him as baby
Stephanie: sorry big boy(laughed all)am i forgiven
Rod: hmm
Stephanie: meaning yes
Rod: yes
Stephanie: who is that girl and why is she standing that far?
Christian: she is a slave
Stephanie: slave?
Desmond: don't worry about her;she will come around
Stephanie: if you say so
Noami: food is ready
Christian: alright mama
Desmond: just go ahead;i will be here
Joy: okay
Desmond: i am happy that you are alive
Stephanie: thank you but why did you tell them am your sister
Desmond: is because that is the only way they will lets us live with them
Stephanie: is okay
Desmond: am coming let me get our food
Stephanie: go on

Tosan: thank God you all are here
Tosin: what is it?
Tosan: Anita;as refuse to eat or drink
Alfred: what is wrong with her?
Ayo: don't you know she is crying over Stephanie like she was her husband
Alfred: are you crazy?she is going through pains and all you need do is show her love
Ayo: what kind of stupid love is that?
Tosin: will you stop being a spoil brat
Alfred: just leave this frustrated boy. he is just being jealous
Ayo: why should i be?when i can get another girl;if i so desire
Ann: what did you just say?
Ayo: you heard me right;i am out of here
Tosin: what is wrong with him?
Alfred: just let him go;may be something else is troubling him
Tosan: he shouldn't take it out on somebody else
Alfred: that should not bother you,you should be concern about that young lady in here
Ann: why don't you talk to her?maybe she will listen to you?

Alfred: what?you are not serious right?
Ann: come please
Alfred: i can't
Tosan: if it was Desmond;he will do it
Alfred: but i am not Desmond and she is not close to me
Tosin: just go on and try;if you can't then i will go
Alfred: alright fine
Ann: thank you dear(he knock at her door)

Anita: who is here?
Alfred: is me Alfred
Anita: what do you want?
Alfred: i want to tell you something
Anita: you can say it without coming in
Alfred: it is important i say it private
Anita: fine;come on in
Alfred: thanks
Anita: what do you want to tell me?
Alfred: i found out that you haven't been happy since Stephanie is nowhere to be found?
Anita: where you expecting me to be happy when someone that is more like a sister to me is missing?
Alfred: i know it hurt but one thing in life is that;if you love someone and that someone is no longer there;we should try as much as possible to be happy so that when that person eventually comes back,you should be hold and make the person happy because he saw you well again
Anita: it is easy for you to say because you are not in my shoe

Alfred: don't be ridiculous;the girl in question is also my friend and the boy that is missing with her;is my best friend;my childhood friend but you see every front fave i put up for people to see;is just a cheer them up that i am okay and everything will be fine
Anita: and you expect me to do that also?i can't pretend
Alfred: if pretence makes you stronger then do it,if showing your feelings out make you weak,it is of no use
Anita: don't try to be a smooth talker;it doesn't suit you
Alfred: i am not;if i am i would had be a comedian (she laughed)
Anita: why?
Alfred: is because i will be making people laughed and put a smile on there are face when they are sad just like you (he cit his eyes)
Anita: you are crazy(she laughed until she almost cry)
Alfred: no;that is not what I want(he tickle her and she laugh)
Anita: thank you
Alfred: will you go downstairs now and be a good girl. your friends are worried
Anita: of cause after you








NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Virginity test [Read it]


Ha! Even monkey use to test for virginity.








NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-02-11 14:46:24

606 Views




Aashiqi Ka Ho Bura Haal;

Ishne Bigaare Saare Kaam;

Hum Toh A.B. Mein Rahe;

Aghiaar B.A. Pass Ho Gaye!



Translation:


Aghiaar: OthersRelated

There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2015-05-28 15:41:02

780 Views




1. I’ve learned - that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

2. I’ve learned- that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

3. I’ve learned- that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

4. I’ve learned- that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

5. I’ve learned- that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

6. I’ve learned- that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

7. I’ve learned- that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

8. I’ve learned- that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

9. I’ve learned- that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

10. I’ve learned- that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

11. I’ve learned- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

12. I’ve learned- that you can keep going long after you can’t.

13. I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

14. I’ve learned- that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

15. I’ve learned- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

16. I’ve learned- that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

17. I’ve learned- that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

18. I’ve learned- that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

19. I’ve learned- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

20. I’ve learned- that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

21. I’ve learned- that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

22. I’ve learned- that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

23. I’ve learned- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

24. I’ve learned- that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

25. I’ve learned- that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

26. I’ve learned- that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

27. I’ve learned- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

28. I’ve learned- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

29. I’ve learned- that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

30. I’ve learned- that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

40. I’ve learned- that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

41. I’ve learned- that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

42. I’ve learned- that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

43. I’ve learned- that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

44. I’ve learned- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

45. I’ve learned- that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

46. I’ve learned- that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

47. I’ve learned- that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

48. I’ve learned- that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

49. I’ve learned- that not all that goes to church will make heaven.

50. I’ve learned- that no matter the effort you put to publish articles online, some people must surely insult you.

Which one do you like most?

Feel free to add your if you have any.


NAIRAJOKES.COM




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Organization



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Pappu: Wanna come over for some pizza and sex?

Girl: No?

Pappu: Why, don’t you like pizza?Related

Akpos goes over to see his neighbour who has a very ferocious-looking dog.


As Akpos approaches the door, the dog begins to bark wildly and his neighbour says to him, "Come on in, Akpos! Don't be afraid of my dog. You know the old proverb: A barking dog never bites." 


"Yes," replied Akpos, "I know the proverb, and you know the proverb, but does your dog know it?"


NAIRAJOKES.COM







2014-11-19 20:15:14

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