#Adult Hindi Jokes Hashtag:


Boy-Friend Aur Girl-Friend Boxing Ka Match Dekhne Gaye



Match Ke First Rounde Mein Ek Boxer Pahle Minute Mein Hi Niche Gir Ke Dher Ho Gaya



Ladke Ne Ye Dekha Aur Gusse Se Bola: “Huh Saala Sirf Ek Minute Mein Hi Gir Gaya”



Ladki Ne Ye Suna Aur Boli: “Ab Ehsas Hua Tumhe Bhi, Ki Mujhe Kesa Mehsoos Hota Hai?“Related

Ek baar ek aadmi BANGKOK ja raha tha… uski wife ne… naa chaahte hue bhi use jaane ki permission de di.


Jis din wo ghar se nikal raha tha… jaate jaate usko wife ne bulaaya aur 12 condoms ka ek packet dekar boli: Jaanu, ise rakh lo, agar dil kare toh…”


Husband: Nahin darling, iski zaroorat nahin padegi.


Wife: Rakh bhi lo na jaanu, kahin mann ho gaya kuch karne ka toh ?

Aadmi khush ho jata hai aur sochta hai, “Waah kya biwi mili hai!”


Achaanak uski wife awaaz de kar usko phir bulati hai aur kehti hai, “Ruko, usmein se 2 mujhe de do… kahin mera mann ho gaya toh…”


BC Trip Cancelled…Related

College Mein Ek Professor Bhooto Ke Baare Mein Bachhon Ko Lecture De Raha Tha, Aur Hall Mein Keval Ladke Hi Aaye Hue The.



Lecture Ke Beech Mein Professor Ne Puchha: “Kitne Bachhe Bhoot Mein Yakeen Karte Hai?”



Kareeb 50 Bachho Ke Haath Khade Ho Gaye.



Professor: “Bahut Achhe, Ab Ye Batao Ki Kitne Logo Ne Bhoot Ko Dekha Hai?”



Lagbag 20 Haath Khade Ho Gaye.



Professor: “Bahut Achhe, Achha Ab Ye Baatao Ki Bhoot Ko Kitne Logo Ne Bahut Kareeb Se Dekha Hai?”



Lagbhag 5 Haath Khade Ho Gaye.



Professor: “Shabash, Achha Ab Ye Batao Kitne Logon Ne Bhoot Ko Chooma Hai?”



Keval Ek Ladke Ka Haath Khada Hua Aur Wo Apna Pappu Tha.



Professor: “Maine Aaj Tak Khud Nahi Suna Ki Kisi Ne Aisa Kiya Ho, Aap Idhar Mere Paas Stage Par Aa Jaao”



Pappu Uth Kar Professor Ke Paas Chala Gaya.



Professor: “To Aapka Kahna Hai Ki Aapne Bhoot Ko Chooma Hai, Jara Baat Puri Detail Mein Batao”



Pappu: “Ohh Sorry Sir, Maine Choot Suna Tha“Related

Boy: I want to be in a relationship.


Girl: It’s okay but under one condition.


Boy: Which one ?


Girl : No sex, because I am preserving it for my future husband.


Boy: That’s okay, I also have my condition.


Girl: Which one ?


Boy: No using of my money because I am preserving it for my future wife!!!


Girl: Lo tum toh serious ho gaye… Arre I was kidding jaanu…Related

1. Agar aap Black Goggles, pistol aur fuddu se Coat mein apna DP set karte hai to aap cool nahi @aapchutiyehain.


2. Mall ke andar shades pehen kar ghoomne wale, jo apne aap aapko dude samajhte hain krupa dhyan de Aap dude nahi @AapChutiyeHain.


3. Daru pi ke har jagah ulti karne wale “experienced” drinker, everybody at the party knows ki @AapChutiyeHain.


4. Agar aap apni crush se uske paanch baar please bolne pe rakhi bandhwane ko tayyar ho jaate hain, toh kasam Rakhi Sawant ki, @AapChutiyeHain.


5. Apne birthdayy pe party nahi dene wale dost, agar aaj mere birthday pe party maangte ho to, aapke birthday cake pe bhi yahi likha hoga @aapchutiyehain.


6. Agar apko lagta hai ki Office Mail mein ‘As soon as possible’ likhne se kaam jaldi ho jaayega, toh MS Outlook ki kasam @AapChutiyeHain.


7. Agar aap GYM ke liye 40k ‘upfront’ dete hain or 1st floor ke liye bhi lift ka upyog kartey hain toh Adnaan Saami bhi kahega @AapChutiyeHain.


8. Agar aap bhari hui Mumbai local mein ipad nikaal ke temple run khelne khade ho jaate hein toh Steve jobs bhi kahega @AapChutiyeHain.


9. Agar aap apni splendour ka silencer nikalwa ke sochte hai ab wo sports bike type lagegi toh mechanic bhi kahega @AapChutiyeHain.Related

Son: Daddy mein kaise paida hua

Daddy: hum ne dua kee ap aa gaye

son: Bhai

Daddy: dua se

son: chacha

Daddy:wo b dua se

son: Hamare khandan mein chodne wodne ka riwaaj nahi hai kiyaRelated

CA ki wife:
Suniye ji, Yeh inflation kya hai?

CA:
Pehle tu 36-24-36 thi
Ab tu 48-40-48 hai !

Ab tere pass sab kuch pehle se jyada hai, phir bhi Teri value pahle se kam hai.
YAHI INFLATION HAI.Related

Baba Saxidas Se Unke Ek Bhakt Ne Pucha



Bhakt: “Baba Ladkiya Hamesha Phoolon Wali [email protected] Hi Kyu Pahnti Hai?”



Baba Saxidas: “Bacha Simple, Taki Choot Se Badbu Na Aaye“Related

Ek Din Ek Nokrani Ko Ghar Ki Safaai Karte Waqt Condom Mila, Toh Vo Condom Maalkin Ko Dikhate Hue Boli.

Ye Kya Hai Bibi Ji?

Maalkin: Kyun Tere Gaon Mein Log Sex Nahi Karte Hai Kya?

Bai: Karte To Hai Par Itne Zor Zor Se Bhi Nahi Karte Ki Khaal Hi Utar Jaye.Related

Once during UP election, Mulayam Singh and Mayawati decided to hold huge rally in Lucknow at the same time. However, in their over enthusiasm the organisers of both the rallies forgot to book rooms for them to stay overnight.

Only one room (single bed) was available in the entire city, so grudgingly MSY and Mayawati decided share the room for the night.

During the night, MSY got horny, he coyly asked Mayawati “Mayawatiji, gath-bandhan karle?” (should we get into a coalition)

Mayawati, very tired, did not understand his advances and rejected him.

Again, MSY asked “Mayawatiji, gath-bandhan karle?” (should we get into a coalition)

Mayawatiji again rejected.

For the third time MSY asked “Mayawatiji, gath-bandhan karle?” (should we get into a coalition)

This time too she rejected him.

MSY, horny as fuck, decided to go to washroom and relieved himself.

Mayawati, woke up, realised her folly of rejecting the only chance of losing virginity, stood outside the washroom waiting for MSY.

When MSY came back, Mayawati said “Mulayamji, Main tayaar hoon”

MSY, “Chodiye Mayawatiji, maine Congress ke saath gath-bandhan kar liya”Related

Ek Ladki Ki Shaadi Hoti Hai Toh Woh 50 Rupaye Aur Ek Machis Bhi Apne Sath Lati Hai.

Pati Suhag Raat Per Usse Puchta Hai: “Yeh Sab Kya Hai?”

Ladki Darte Hue Boli: “Jab Bhi Mera Koi Boy Friend Mujhe Chodta Tha Toh Main Nishani Ke Tor Par Ek Rajma Ka Dana Machis Mein Daal Leti Thi”

Tab Pati Machis Kholkar Dekhta Hai To Uss Mein Se Teen Dane Rajma Ke Niklte Hai. Soch Kar Maaf Kar Deta Hai.

Phir Puchta Hai: “Aur Yeh 50 Rupee Kiss Liye?”

Patni Boli: “Ji, Vo Chaar Kilo Rajma Bech Diye Thhe Yeh 50 Rupaye Usske Hai“ ????Related

Banta Bhaaga-Bhaaga Santa Ke Ghar Aaya Aur Khushi Se Bola.



Banta: “Oye Santa, Aaj TV Pe Rakhi Sawant, Apne 38-Inch Ke Ball Dikhane Wali Hai”



Santa Udaas Hokar Bola: “Achha, Par Main Nahi Dekh Paunga”



Banta: “Kyu?”



Santa: “Mera TV To Sirf 21-Inch Ka Hai?“Related

1 Pinjrey me 50 Bandaria or 1

Bandar

chhodae Gaye,



.

aur Elaan hua k jo 1 mint me

Bandar

ko

pehchan kar Pakad le ga usey

10,000

milenge

.

.

.

1st:” Modi gaya pura jor lagaya

Par

fail

ho gaya

.

.

.

2nd:” Kejriwal gaya lekin uski

bhi fat

gayi aur nakam rha

.

.

.

.

3rd:” Rahul gndhi gaya aur

10

second

me Bandar le aaya..

.

.

.

Sab ne hairani bhari nazron se

pucha

aap

ne kaise kiya..???

.

.

.

.

.

Rahul:” Main pinjrey

Mein

gaya

aur kaha ki

“VOTE Congress ko hi dena”

.

.

to sirf

ek

ne

kaha..

“LUND” LE LE.mera.Related

Ek Anpadh Sardarni New York Ke Ek Message Centre Mein Apni Maa Ko Punjab Message Karne Ke Liye Gayi



Angrej Operator Bola Ki $50 Lagenge



Wo Udas Hote Hue Boli: “Mere Pas Itne Paise To Nahi Hai, Par Agar Aap Meri Maa Ko Ek Message Kar Do To Aap Jo Bologe Main Karungi”



Angrej Ne Kuch Sochte Hue Puchha: “Kuch Bhi Karogi?”



Vo Boli: “Haan, Kuch Bhi”



Angrej Ne Use Kaha Ki Mere Piche Aao Aur Usko Agle Ek Room Mein Le Gaya Aur Bola: “Darwaja Band Karke Mere Pass Aao”



Usne Aisa Hi Kiya Aur Uske Pass Aake Khadi Ho Gayi



Angrej: “Ab Jhuko Aur Apne Ghutno Pe Khadi Ho Jao”



Usne Hichkichate Hue Aisa Hi Kiya



Angrej Bola: “Meri Pant Ki Zip Kholo”



Usne Zip Khol Di



Angrej: “Ab Isko Bahar Nikalo Aur Shuru Ho Jao”



Usne Dono Haatho Se Uska Samaan Bahar Nikala, Angrej Ne Maje Se Apni Aankhein Band Kar Li



Aurat Apne Hont Uske Paas Layi Aur Chilla Ke Boli: “Bebe Mein Simran, Tenu Meri Awaj Aa Rahi Hai Na?“Related

Newly Married woman returns from Honeymoon…

Her friends:-”kahan -kahan ghum aai?”..



She:-”Delhi, Agra, Jammu and Manali.”.



Her friends:-”Hmm kya kya dekha?”…



She:-”bajaj, orpat, anchor, orient PSPO ke ceiling fans” ????Related

Height of Besharmi

.

Boy & Girl met wid Accident.

.

Boy’s BMW got Scratches

.

Boy: Dikhta nahi.. bhosdiki… Teri maa ko chodu.. Teri bhen ko chodu..

.

.

.

.

Girl: aurrrrrrr, mujhe bhi na pls… Pls… ???? ????Related

Shopping Mall Mein Ek Dalal Ek Admi Se Bola



“Mauj Karni Hai To Mere Sath Aao, 5000 Mein Full Mauj”



Aadmi Ne Puchha: “Par Ladki Kaisi Hai?”



Dalal: “Aao Aap Khud Chal Kar Dekh Lo”



Dalal Usko Ek Kamre Mein Le Gaya, Jaha Aadmi Ko Dekhte Hi Ladki Ne Apni Skirt Upar Kar Li



Admi Ne Uski Choot Dekhi Aur Usko Ghoorta Hi Raha



Ladki Ne Ye Dekha Aur Boli



“Kya Hua? Lagta Hai Jab Se Apni Maa Ki Chut Se Bahar Aaye Ho Kabhi Choot Nahi Dekhi”



Aadmi Mukura Ke Bola: “Nahi Aisi To Koi Baat Nahi Hai, Choot To Maine Bahut Dekhi Hai”



Ladki: “To Fir Itna Ghoor Kyu Rahe Ho?”



Aadmi: “Par Jismein Wapis Ghus Sako Esi Lambi Chaudi Chut Aaj Pahli Bar Dekhi Hai”Related

Lady Doctor: Mat Sharmayo, Khol Ke

Dikhayo.. Maine Pehle Bahut Dekhe Hain,

Kiya Problem Hain, Main Check Karungi.?



Pappu : Meri GF Ko Lagta Hain Ke Mere

Lund Ka Taste Fika Hain..! ????Related

Sheela Aunty-Mujhe chodo na.

Boy-nahi,Tum bahut moti ho.

Sheela aunty-Abe Bhosdike, Chicken ka maza Boti me.

Aur

Chut ka maza Moti Me..!Related

Man to Doctor: Every night my wife goes to a pub and sleeps with anyone who proposes to her!

Dr.: Relax, take a deep breath, calm down & now tell me..

.

.

.

.

.

.

WHICH PUB?:p =DRelated

Rah Chalti Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Ladka Shayari Ke Andaz Mein Bola



Ladka: “Kash Main Tumhare Hasen Honton Ki Lip Stick Hota”



Ladki Ne Huste Hue Jawab Diye



Ladki: “Shukar Karo Nahi Ho Warna Roz Kisi K “lun” Pe Lage Hotey.“Related

Santa: “Bante, Daily Chyavanprash Khane Se Chusti Rehti Hai.”



Banta Hairani Se: “Sach Mein, Mujhe Bhi Bata Na Kon Chusti Rahti Hai? Bata Na Bhai, Bata Na.”



Santa: “Abbey! Chusti Rahti Hai, Chusti Yani Fitness”

Sale, Ye To Hai Hi Gande Dimaag Ka, Aap To Ye Nahi Soch Rahe The Na. ????Related

Sattar (70) Saal Ka Budda Apne Doctor Dost Se Bola.

Budda: “Main Aaj Bhi xx Karne Mein 1 Ghanta, 40 Minute, 15 Second Lagata Hoon”

Doctor Hairaan Ho Kar Bola: “Kaise ?”

Budda Bola: “40 Minute Khada Karne Mein, 15 Second Dhakka Marne Ko Aur 1 Ghanta XX Karne Ke Baad Hosh Main Aane Ko“Related

On Fb:



She: *Uploads a pic – Meet my dog

Punu. :’*



Boy1: Aww punu is zo cute.



Boy2: lulz bhut pyaala dogu hai !



Boy3: haaye, kaash hum kutte hote.

….



He : *Uploads a pic – Meet my dog

Punu. :’*



Boy1- Inme se kutta kon hai?



Boy2- tera bap mil gya aakhir



Boy3- hat sala bc mc mkc ????Related

Jyotish Ladki Ka Haath Dekh Ke Bola.



Jyotish: “Bachhi Tum Bahut Chudwaaogi”



Ladki: “Bhonsdi Ke Chudwa To Main 5 Saal Se Rahi Hoon, Ye Bataa Pakdi To Nahi Jaaungi“Related

Girl goes on date ….

.

.

worried mother gives her [email protected]

.

.

girl laughs , hugs mother & says :

yehi soch to badalni hai maa,

.

.

I’m dating with julie, so give me muli

????Related

Women can wear all Men’s items like T shirt, pant, jeans, lungies. But they can’t wear 1 thing..

Guess what?

‘CONDOM’. It’s our monopoly.

Jai jawaan, Jai Saamaan !!!Related

Ek Baar Santa Ka Dost Musibat Mein Tha Wo Santa Se Ye Baat Share Karte Hue Kahta Hai.

Dost Bola: “Yaar Musibat Ke Waqt Gadhe Ko Bhi Baap Banana Padta Hai”

Santa: “Wah Yaar Badi Himmat Hai Jo Teri Mummy Maan Bhi Jati Hai“Related

Baba Saxidas Ne Apne Bhakto Ko Muh Dikhai Ki Asliyat Batate Hue Btaya



Suhaag Raat Aksar Dulhan Ko Dulha Ek Gift Deta Hai Muh Dikhai Ke Toar Se.



Ab Ise Muh Dikhai Kyun Kehte Hain? Asal Men Yeh To Chut Dikhai Honi Chahiye.



Kyuki Munh Dekh Ke To Shaadi Pakki Ki Thi.



Ye huyi na baba ki bakchodi ????Related

1st Friend:”chup raho dekho ghar se phone

hai..

.

.

2nd Friend:”arre Zara beer ke bottle toh sarka

idhar..

. .

3rd friend:”tune jo cigrat di wo khatam ho

gayi

dusri de..

.

4th Friend:”(in female voice) januuu yaha aao

na

plz aaaaooo naaa…:* ???? .

.

5th Friend:”aaahhh aaahhhh

ummmmhhhh..:p ???? :O Hit Likè for kaminey

Friends…:))Related

Ladkia market main patakhe khreeed

rahi

hai…..!!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

And boys market main patakhe dekh

rahe

hai…….!!!!

njoy with patakhas boyz nd galz ???? ????

Happy Wali Diwali !!!Related

1 Poora Din



Shoe & Socks pehno



to Pair Gorre Gorre



lagte hain…



Saala !



Janam se Chaddi pehni



par…



popat sala…



KALA KA KALA KYUN . .? ????Related

Hindi commentary would be a

lot more fun if they used phrases

Like

.

.

.

.

.

‘Chutiye sale ne phir catch chod

diya’, ????Related

70 Saal Ka Budha Doctor Se Milne Gaya Aur Pucha



Budha: “Dr. Saab, Meri Umar Mein S*x Style Kya Hona Chahiye?”



Dr: “Dogy Style”



Budha Confuse Hoke: “Aapka Matlab Piche Se?”



Dr: “Nahi, Sirf Soonghna Aur Chaatna“Related

????:- ???? ?? ?? ??????

???? :- ??? ???? ??? ?

???? :- ?? ?????? ??? ??? ?? ??? 90% ??? ????

???? :- ????? ?? ???? ??? ???? ???? ???? !

????:- ???? ?????? ?? ? ?? ??? ???? ???? ???? ???? ?? ???? ??? ????? ???? ??? ?? ?? ?? ???? ???? ???? ??…. ??? ????? ???? ???? !
????????
????????????????????Related

Ek Baar Santa Ka Dost Musibat Mein Tha Wo Santa Se Ye Baat Share Karte Hue Kahta Hai.

Dost Bola: “Yaar Musibat Ke Waqt Gadhe Ko Bhi Baap Banana Padta Hai”

Santa: “Wah Yaar Badi Himmat Hai Jo Teri Mummy Maan Bhi Jati Hai“ ????Related

Son; Papa Result Aa Gya.

Fail Ho Gya Me

.

.

.

.

.

Dad: Bc Tu Sirf Bathroom Me Hi

Hath

Chla Skta H

Exam Me Nahi :3Related

Gupta ji ke Ghar Sharmaji aaye..



Guptaji Apne Bachhon ki Pehchaan karane Lage…



Ye Meri Beti RANI

Shadi Se Pehle Hum Mumbai mein “Rani Baag” Ghumne Jaaya karte thhe.. Uski Yaad mein Iska Naam Rani Rakha.



Sharmaji : Wah..Pyari Bitiya hai



Ye mera Beta TAJ,

Shadi ke 5 Saal baad Second Honeymoon pe Hum Agra gaye thhe.. uski yaad mein…



Sharmaji : Wah..bahot Sochke Naam Rakhe hai aapne..!



Aur yeh mera Chhota beta

KOHINOOR..



Sharmaji : Kya baat hai.! Matlab aap London mein kohinoor Heera dekh Aaye.?



Guptaji : Arey Nahi..

Hum toh Precaution Le Rahe thhe.. Lekin Iss Brand ne Dokha de diya.!!Related

College Mein Pappu Aur Uski Ek Friend Canteen Ke Bahar Bethe Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe



Pappu Ki Friend Ne Ahista Se Pappu Ko Bola



Ladki: “Main Apni Zindagi Mein Koi Lamba Hath Maarna Chahti Hoon”



Pappu Kameene Pan Se Bola: “Tum Sirf Hath Maaro Lamba Khud Hi Ho Jayega“Related

Me : What’s your caste?

She : Main Marwari hun, and you?

Me : Sabse marwa ri ho, to hume bhi mauka do

*Killed*Related
Next Page >>
<< Previous Page