#SMS Jokes Hashtag:


Man: “I’ll have a rum and coke”

Waiter: “Is pepsi ok?”

Man: “Sure whatever”

*Waiter hands you a pepsi and coke*Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Valentines Day is over.

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.

.

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Results will be declared on 14 November!Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Santa found the answer to the most difficult question ever: What will come first, Chicken or egg?

O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.Related

A doctor was really pissed off by the constant visits of Jeeto who wanted to lose some of her excess weight. She never showed any results as she couldn’t diet or follow the exercise plan.

Jeeto: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?

Doctor: Cut your head off.Related

Double Insult:

Gal: Do you like me?

Boy: No.

The girl got sad.

Boy: Why are you sad?

Gal: Because you don’t like me.

Boy: You never asked whether I love you

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: No!Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

American Lifestyle:

Daughter: Sorry Dad, I got married yesterday. Forgot to invite you.

Dad: You naughty girl! It’s OK but don’t forget me next time!Related

In Parliament:

Speaker: Now I invite Mr. Rahul Gandhi for his address to the nation.

Rahul: 12, Tughlak Lane, New Delhi

Sonia: She is asking you to address the nation and not our home address!Related

After quite a number of days of being admitted in the hospital, Santa to his wife, Jeeto: I’m worried, dear. I don’t think doctors have any idea about my ailment.

Jeeto: What makes you think that way?

Santa: The “Suggestion Box” at the end of the bed!Related

Height of flexibility:Baba Ramdev is so flexible that he gets tangled faster than his earphones.Related

S.C.H.O.O.L. = Six Crappy Hours Of Our LivesRelated

Jeeto: What did you learn at school today?

Pappu: Obviously not enough, I have to go back tomorrow.Related

A policeman stops Jeeto and asks for her license. He says, “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses”.

Jeeto answers, “Well, I have contacts”.

The policeman replied “I don’t care who you know, you’re getting a ticket!”Related

With the New iPhone 6, one can take a picture under water,

.

..



….

…..

……

…….

but just once!Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

I have the ‘I’;

I have the ‘L’;

I have the ‘O’;

I have the ‘V’;

I have the ‘E’;

So please can I have ‘U’?Related

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh!

Santa: Control urself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Bunty: Why did our class teacher come to your house last night. Something to complain or what?

Pappu: Actually, I’ve been suffering from insomnia so my parents requested the teacher to come and teach me something and I can fall asleep!Related

Santa: The recruitment consultant asked me ‘What do you think of voluntary work?

Banta: So what was your reply?

Santa: I said, “I wouldn’t do it if you paid me.”Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Teacher: How does blood reach yr brain?

Pappu: Simple. Direction of liquid is always towards the EMPTY SPACE.Related

Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.

Kanta: I don’t believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.Related

Me: siri tell me a joke.

*Siri turns on front camera*Related

The Chinese obsession for making fake products is their revenge on the rest of the world for making fake Chinese food.Related

Teacher to Pappu: If both of your parents were born in 1965, how old would they say they are now?


Pappu: That depends.


Teacher: It does? Depends on what?


Pappu: On if you ask my father or my mother!Related

Banta: What is an adult joke?

Santa: Any joke which is 18 years old.Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

During a recent password audit, it was found that Santa was using the following password on his office desktop system:

BittuPappuLuckyHappySonuPinkyRaniGuddi

Office Aministrator: Why such a long password?

Santa: Because the policy states that it has to be at least 8 characters long.Related

T? ???? ? ?????? ????,
E?????, ??? ??s? ???? ? T??? L???? G?????? ???? A?? F?????s,
O?, O?? ??s? ???? ? T??? F????? ??? R????? C???s,
M??? ???? ? L????… ????Related

I said to a fat girl today, “You’re a big girl!” She replied, “Tell me something I don’t know.” I said, “Salad tastes good.”Related

Santa standing on the scale, holding his stomach in.

Jeeto: I don’t think that is going to help.

Santa: Sure it does. How else could I see the numbers?Related

On a crowded bus, Banta noticed that Santa had his eyes closed. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?” he asked.
“No, I’m okay. It’s just that I hate to see old ladies standing”, replied Santa.Related

Stop studying for MBBS, you can save someone’s life by pressing the like button too. Don’t you know?Related

Boss: John, tell me your greatest weakness

John: Honesty

Boss : I don’t think that’s a weakness

John: I don’t give a shit what you think.Related

Santa: The weather has not been too bad this week.

Banta: But it’s so wet all over.

Santa: Yeah, bcoz it only rained twice. 1st time for 3
days and 2nd time for 4 days.Related

Did you hear about the crossword puzzle addict who died and was buried six feet down and three feet across!Related
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